Example of sadism...

Ok, so this came back to me today, flashback.

When me and Trotters were together initially, during full on Disney Fairytale stage, he used to take me on drives around our local countryside, pointing out places where he grew up. Fairly early on in our relationship....probably about 2/3 weeks in, he was very very proud to drive me past the house he used to own with his ex W. Nice house, he articulated how much it had been worth, how they had such great plans for it. At the time, I thought not much of it, but now can remember feeling a tiny bit uncomfortable with his need to share this with me...really? If he was over her then their house etc shouldn't really matter....however I put this to the back of my head and decided that it was really nice he wanted to share his life and history with me....wot a great fella I had found. This sort of thing continued throughout our relationship of 3 years...the weird triangulation thing. We holidayed in places he'd been with her....he wanted me to always straighten my hair cos he preferred it straight, she had bolt straight blonde hair. Incidentally, I prefer it straight too but time and needs don't always allow! But I always felt less attractive once that seed had been sown.

Anyway, cut to the chase.....he left our family home which we had set up with our kids (his 2, my 2) on March 2nd. On April 1st I moved back to my own home....feeling like I had been mowed over by a sherman tank. I was all over the place. On April 9th, a week later, I cycled back to my friend who lived next door to our old house, it was early in the morning and we were going out on a 20mile cycle ride to get me out of the house and get some endorphins going. As I cycled up to the road we lived in, who was pulling out of the road but Trotters, with OW in the car next to him!!! I can only assume he was showing her his "old" house, how big it was, what he had given up in order to protect himself from the "psycho bitch from hell"!! He floored the car, wheel skids the lot, could not get out of there quick enough - I saw the whites of his eyes we were that close. And at the time I was devasted as the last thing he had said to me was "I am not rushing into anything, I don't want to be on my own and I am not going to rub your face in it". Now it's another validation, another lightbulb. Sadistic bastard - he didn't know that he would see me admittedly, but in his head, he wasn't just rubbing my face in it, he was stamping it in like shit on the bottom of his shoe.

I am never going to be able to understand the behaviour of an N - but this truly validates the fact that they use the same format, the same template and the same old shit on all of us.

For all of you out there who worry about OW, don't....same template, same approach, same format, same words, same old shit, I am a vessel to him that has been replaced with another vessel.....life is getting brighter and brighter over here...I have had a truly lucky escape!!