Now I Know the Truth About You
Now I Know the Truth About You
Now I know the truth about you. My truth to YOU is I refuse to lower myself again to be with you.
I lowered my standards of faithfulness, loyalty, and other standards you cannot begin to understand, based on a person I thought was real and ideal - better than my marriage partner. In hindsight, you have added a whole new dimension to the old adage, "If it seems too good to be true, it probably isn't (true)". It took me a long time, but now I know that person I fell in love with doesn't exist in you.
You are a con artist and a vampire. You used my vulnerability and kindness as a springboard to satisfy your needs and I no longer blame myself for the failure of our relationship. In fact, its failure is just one more proof that God exists, loves me, and is protecting me from the evil predator that is you. It is God who brought to light, brought to my mind, the words to describe you during the course of this nightmare. How can I be so sure it was God and not a figment of my own will? I was so brainwashed, confused, drowning in self-doubt, self-hatred, and on the brink of self-destruction - so far gone, so deep, so drained and so weak - that I could not emerge from the darkness on my own volition.
When He showed me the truth,and when I allowed myself to accept that truth AND face the reality of the situation- when I allowed God to speak to my heart - the words began to flow inside me to describe you:
Con Artist, Cheater, Needy, Liar, Secretive, Manipulative, Irresponsible, Critical, Controlling, Blamer, Disloyal, Lazy, Shallow, Hot & Cold, Selfish, Argumentative, Fake, Detached, Alcoholic, Addition-prone (alcohol, cigarettes, cigars, porn, food, sex); lack Conviction on issues of morality, religion, politics; Immoral, Unsafe, Reckless, Actor, Hateful to family members including his own children, Haughty, Arrogant, Offensive behavior and remarks, Sexually redundant (does it the same way every time), Entitled, Inflexible, Moody, Believes everyone envies (him), Thief - took over family investment and step-mother's European automobile to enhance his personal image without properly paying for them; Stubborn, Cowardly, Self-absorbed,Un-Empathetic,Cruel to people and animals; Reads excessively (to figure out how real people act through the minds of real authors and others' life experiences so he can emulate those same behaviors and appear normal to the world); Copies/adopt others' positive traits, passions/likes/dislikes passing them off as his own.
Now I know the truth about you. I know these negative things are who you really are and any positive traits you demonstrate you have adopted from someone else. They are not a part of your fabric nor natural nor innate to you. WHAT you are is the opposite of WHO I am.
WHAT you really are is the opposite of who God is - and the opposite of what God wants for me. I may have been fooled once, I may have been fooled by you multiple times, but I am not to blame. You are a professional con artist with 40 years of experience to perfect your game. You target the kind, the loving, and the giving. We are the slowest to catch on and we remain in confusion the longest. We are slow to see through our confusion because we have faith, belief, hope, trust, and forgiveness.
Now I know the truth about you. What is more, you know I figured you out - that's why you discarded me. I thank you for that because it led me on the journey I needed to get healthy. Should we ever cross paths again, I will never lower myself to even cast my eyes upon you. I am smarter now.
Should you ever darken my doorstep again, I will not be weakened by your smooth charm or good looks or any of the multiple superficial trappings and false personas you don to impress the outside world - to secure supply.
Because now I know the truth about you; and the truth about me is I AM WAY OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE.
Thanks be to God. . . . .