Dissociation...,

I have learned that this is part of the symtoms of pstd. As I explore the reason of staying with the ex-narc and other narc experiences, I am discovering I would dissocate in the experience. For example, when he would rage at me so violently, in the beginging I would often just look at the floor and just think to myself, he will stop soon. I realise now, that in the end when I would fight back it was my soul trying to protect myself. I've started to ask myself the question why am I not afraid? I hardly ever feel afraid of anything, and yet fear is an emotion that we are given to protect myself. I have been involved in many risk-taking behavior in my life.

I see now why I am caught in the cycle of dating, it is a stress outlet, another way to zone out and not deal with the amount of pain that I feel. Also, as I deal with the past/narc issue, I have found myself drinking more. I can see now why I am dealing with "acting out" behavior. So I am reeling myself back, and trying to walk this out as healthy as I can.

I see my counseler, Friday, so this will be a topic that will be brought up.

Any imput, from those of you that have dealt with this with the narc? Have any of you talked to your therapist about this issue?

Thanks for any imput,
Hugs
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