The Mirror

I am curious... I've been reading all about how they "mirror" us to hook us in. Do they all also once the hook is in become as contrary as possible? It seems like my NPDh just became whatever was opposite of me. And then tried to make it like something was wrong with me and I was the one being contrary? I am just a little confused at how this works? I figured maybe it was because he was busy mirroring someone else? (usually I notice this when he's in tight and thick with the sick and twisted mother) and therefore had no need or desire to mirror me any longer. anyone have any thoughts?