Need advice - is husband cheating
HEllo there. Want to make this short and sweet so people won't feel like they have to do a whole lot of work in order to hear my story and give me some MUCH needed advice from the best resource around - other women. We have a sixth sense with our instincts and I'm really looking for your help with that :)
About five years ago when i was dating my now husband, he was friends with a woman who was going through a divorce. We would see this woman every weekend where we hung out, and i immediately detected there was a chemisty between them. i will say that my husband has always been a flirt and enjoys the company of women...regardless who she is.
during the dating time, i found them texting quite a bit to each other. one time she sent him a very suggestive sexual text (used the word "cumming" instead of "coming" when talking about going somewhere. he also asked her to send him a picture of herself so he could "show to a friend he was trying to set her up with". this was true at the time, but this friend also told us how my husband - then boyfriend - would go on and on about how HOT she was.
when i first saw the texts and the frequency of texts (there were times we were at a small get together and he'd be holed up in the corner texting her for hours, being very antisocial which isnt' him AT ALL), i cried, we got into an argument, and i told him i was uncomfortable with it. he was patient, listened and said he understood.
fast forward to five years later now married with children with him. i recently found out that he slept with her twice while we were engaged - just four months before we got married (this happened after we had the argument about inappropriate texting). also, i have looked at phone records and the the frequency of phone calls, and texts was to the point of obsession. at times when he was supposed to be working he'd be texting her for hours back and forth. HOURS. he'd also call her late at night while out of town, and in one instance while he was traveling he called her and only her during his layover.
he also admitted that while he was traveling, he'd often times meet up with her without my knowledge. they 'd have dinner ususally a couple of times a month (phone records and bank statements confirmed this). then it became more frequent - once a week they'd meet up. he also admitted to me that he sought her out to text and call, and was starting to make plans with her in advance (hey i'll be driving through your town next week, want dinner?). Finally, the big kicker is that he admitted to me that he would sometimes send her texts like, "what are you wearing", and "send me a picture" (send him a picture of herself while at the beach, or getting dressed).
he also admitted to me that he never hooked up with her again other than that time we were engaged, but there was one night dinner went really late and he stayed in his car with her in a parking lot after the restaurant closed to talk about her recent breakup with a boyfriend. he couldn't remember what time he came home but said it was "really" late (i'm assuming 3 or 4 am).
he's admitted so much and i'm curious if it sounds like he was in fact still sleeping with her, or he was throwing it out there to do it again. i will say from the call logs and bank statements, it seems he was the one doing the instigating.
also, when people saw them out together (our friends), they all secretly thought something was going on with the two of them. the glances, the heavy flirting, etc. many times i wasn't around because i was pregnant and home with babies.
what do you think - does it sound like he has cheated on me since the incident or was wanting to again? he says his intentions were just playful and out of boredom and she was available...he also said though that he liked having her as his own friend, and didn't want to share that with me, or anyone.
thanks for listening...really appreciate it.