Lunch

He invited me to lunch & I accepted. Big mistake....I'm still too raw. He apologized for what he did...proceeded to tell me that he was jealous of who I am & that he could never measure up. He felt that he was holding me back. I teared up....missed the man I thought he was. I again told him I would never go back to him..that this was a friendly lunch. Oh how all of those sweet memories come flooding back. He said he didn't expect anything....he just misses me (must have NO supply). He's put in for a job transfer to Austin or San Antonio. He did acknowledge that he was mean to me....said he's full of self-hate & has pushed everyone away. Said he just wants to be alone. It was so hard after that to come home at the end of the day where we shared a life for over a decade. I know...you can let me have it. I messed up.