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Tricky question

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#1 Dec 18 - 9AM
hopeforbetter
hopeforbetter's picture

Tricky question

What's the contact rule if I just found out he gave me an STD? He's in at least one relationship I know of now, is it my responsibility? I'm torn up about all of this and already can't get out of bed. I really have no desire to talk to him, especially feeling this low.

Dec 18 - 12PM
nhtmf
nhtmf's picture

Dear Hopeforbetter.....I

Dear Hopeforbetter.....I won't even pretend to understand the alphabet soup (ptsd, std, etc.) that we have been thrown into the pot that consists of being a victim of one of these crazies. I'm sure you'll get concrete answers from others here. Since the term STD is very broad I can only guess that if it is something "cureable" that you have no recourse. If it is something that will linger for life then perhaps you should call the diagnosing MD as I'm sure they will have the answers needed to report this to the proper authorities. It is my belief that there are laws out there that require full disclosure to a partner if an incurable STD is present. I doubt he will care if its something curable. Wish we could tattoo these guys!!!! Your situation just saddens me and my heart goes out to you as surely you have been through enough. Big hugs my friend.
Dec 18 - 12PM (Reply to #2)
4joys4
4joys4's picture

I'm sorry you have this from

I'm sorry you have this from the narc. I would not contact him. If it is the law, let the doctor call him. Youre in my prayers.
Dec 18 - 12PM (Reply to #3)
hopeforbetter
hopeforbetter's picture

Thank you for your kind

Thank you for your kind words and prayers. It's not the worst case scenario but the worst thing I've dealt with. I had NO idea my anger could peak this high. I was celibate for 5 years before him so it's clear where I got it but I'm not up to hearing his accusations and MORE lies. If and big if, he was normal, I have a ton to blast him with, but I don't want him to enjoy it.
Dec 18 - 12PM (Reply to #4)
4joys4
4joys4's picture

Anger is good and

Anger is good and appropriate. Use the energy to get you far away from this ass. Dont let anyone tell you not to be angry. It really helped me.
Dec 18 - 2PM (Reply to #5)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

not tricky at all

let the doctor call him or a lawyer if you want to sue him for your medical care YOU? NO!!! ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website
Dec 18 - 3PM (Reply to #7)
agnesmurphy17
agnesmurphy17's picture

Law Suit

STD is a tort of assault & battery -- one might be able to recover $$ for pain & suffering, in addition to medical costs. However, I would be careful. If he's a sociopath, he will counter sue and you will be the person who gave it to him! I am so sorry. These guys. It's a violation. A rape on so many levels. You must feel really, really awful. Hope you will recover soon.
Dec 18 - 3PM (Reply to #8)
hopeforbetter
hopeforbetter's picture

That would be nice and feels

That would be nice and feels appropriate, but he has nothing to give as far as money or assets. He had MY home and MY vehicle to seduce the new one. And now they live in the basement of his family member. She bought it so she gets what she gets, but he has nothing. The Feds seized everything before he went to prison. It's a defeating realization that there's no recourse but karma.
Dec 18 - 2PM (Reply to #6)
hopeforbetter
hopeforbetter's picture

Good idea to have the doc

Good idea to have the doc office call. I can not be exposed to him ever for any reason. Thanks again for the kindness and advice.