a slow process

I'm feeling okay this morning. It is a bright brisk day today a little bit colder than its been but the sun is out so that is always a bonus.
It's been 3 months since the break up with the N and 22 days of NC. I have to admit that the N is still so prominent in my thoughts. I can picture him so clearly in my mind....All the good memories and there were some beautiful moments between us. I try to push them out but it is almost insane how difficult it is to erase how I felt about that dam ghost. I do everything I can in a day and at night to avoid letting him seep into my mind but there he is.
I don't think he thinks of me at all, and I don't care so much about that anymore....yet I still can not rid him from my soul, psyche, spirit, mind etc.
I swear I feel like I will need a lobotomy if there is any chance of ever forgetting how he made me feel, how I loved the grand illusion he so intricately displayed.... Recovering from these predators seems to drags on and on.....
I am determined to keep going NC but you all know as well as I do that this can be torture. Unbelievably painful and an emotional process that seems as slow as watching hair grow.
Any words of validation and encouragement welcomed....
Thanks everyone...
P