1 Year Ago TODAY
1 Year Ago TODAY
One year ago to the day I told my narc, the infamous CharlieSheenWinning, that I was no longer going to be involved with him. I said, "I give up. I give up on YOU. I'm hanging my jock and hitting the showers. I'm DONE."
Six years of an on/off, mindf-ing, boundary breaking, ultimately unsatisfying pseudo-relationship and I'd finally had enough.
After that I went into a tailspin of cognitive dissonance, ptsd, and mourning. I hated him but still loved him. Three weeks after I told him I was through, he married someone else. The fact that he knew her only for the three weeks since I'd broken things off with him didn't make me feel better. In a way, it made me feel worse.
I was so bad off after that news, I couldn't even leave my house to go for a walk for fear of running into him and his NewWinningWife. I was not myself at work, I cried all the time at home -- I was a complete wreck. I began to research bipolar disorder because I figured that's what was going on with CharlieSheenWinning and stumbled by happy accident on a column about Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
I then began to read about NPD because that seemed to fit even more than BPD. By even happier accident I found this board. I read, I posted, I received help from so many kind people. It's impossible to put into words what everyone here has done for me.
In the one year since I broke it off with CharlieSheenWinning, things have not gone well. Someone important in my life died recently, I went through another failed relationship, I may lose my job.
But you know what? In spite of all of that, I'm okay. I was *not* okay when I was with the narc. This past year has pretty much been shit stirred with a shovel, but today I CELEBRATE.
I am a year FREE. I am a year off of human crack.
There is hope where there seems to be none. Whoever is only at the beginning of this whole process and just starting No Contact, please believe me. There IS hope where there seems to be none.
One year from now, no matter what else happens, you will breathe a sigh of relief because you are FREE. You can't trust a narc, but you can trust me and others on this board about that.
Hugs and a howl of happiness,
Lobo
"CharlieSheenWinning".......
Hey Lobo...great to see you
CharlieSheenWinning
lobo my sweet!
spinning
(never) spinning again (ever) :)
lobo555
Trust
hey lobo
I didn't think you sounded
thank you lobo
Thought you might like this....
OMG! :):):):)
Lobo.. Congrats ... Bye,bye
Lobo
Lobo555
Ruby01
This is wonderful news!
Lobo
There have been dark times
A HUGE CONGRATS TO YOU AND