Is it wrong to go NC with someone u meet, whom u think shows narc tendencies?
Is it wrong to go NC with someone u meet, whom u think shows narc tendencies?
I find myself second guessing myself, lately. But, then when I think of all I've learned about narcissism...and how hurt I've personally been, and we all have been by them...I then feel justified when I omit people from my life who resemble narcs. Or perhaps ARE narcs.
Here are some examples of some men I have met over the past few months, whom I have gone NC with...and who text me, call me...and can't figure out why I won't communicate anymore.
(I usually say...''I don't think we should talk anymore...'' and then I go NC...not a long drawn out explanation...that's how I have typically handled it with a few men as of late)
Examples:
*There was a guy who started out as a friend. Then, we started dating. Then, he started ignoring me. Cold shoulder behavior. And it would ALWAYS be after a really good night out, or a good night on the phone chatting. Next day? Ignoring. (I'm sorry, but I know this 'game' very well, as the last ex N did this to me a lot) so...I told him...I don't think we should talk anymore. And I went NC. And he was 'frantic' with texts, emails...calls. I mean...really? You ignore me, then act surprised when I say I don't want to talk anymore? NARC ALERT! GAME ALERT!
*There was a guy who started out as a friend. He wanted to date. I said yes. We dated a few times. He early on said...I'm falling in love. NARC ALERT! I told him I thought things were moving way too fast, and suggested we slow down. He never spoke to me again. ha!
*There was a guy who I dated briefly last year, and he would say...''I expect your cell phone to be on during the day, Deidre.'' I remember saying...''but, it died. the battery died. not my fault.'' He said...''if I can't get a hold of you, we are going to have problems.'' NARC ALERT! I dumped him asap after that comment. He was shocked. Told me I had ''committment issues.'' I said, I barely know you...we don't have a committment. To that he said...''you are a child...you act like a child.'' I said...''never call me again.'' He apologized profusely. I never called him, wrote him, nada...again.
Ok...so, I ask you. Was I wrong to omit these people so quickly? Or is it protective and smart to omit such behaviors, as soon as we see them? I gave the last narc too many chances to hurt me over and over. I just don't have it in me anymore, to waste my time on anyone resembling a narc! I honestly don't know what it is...but it's like I shut down, when I start sensing narc behaviors, now. I can't deal with them, at all.
Just wondering your thoughts...and do you do the same thing since being in relationships with narcs, yourselves? Has it caused you to feel...numb...cold...I don't know the right word...when it comes to dealing with others who resemble behaviors of narcissism? I just don't have it in me to put up with it, not for a minute, anymore.
You said " *There was a guy
Strong Boundaries
I think just by asking the
NC based on radar
Your intuition is great!
sounds like you did exactly
You have learned to follow
NO F'N WAY!! Not wrong at
Journey on...
journey
You're welcome Deidre, my
Journey on...
Pretty much agree with Jane
Screw them...hahahaha....I
dazed
I remember some of your posts
dazed
HELL NO YOU WERE NOT WRONG!!!
needing2know
Deidre40
From your examples, I think
janemarie
your not a narc, your just
that's it! :=))
You were 100% right