Prayer please

Please say a prayer for me! I am so tired of living this hell! I need SOMETHING to fall into place. He has no f'ing clue that I am done with our marriage and keeps at all the BS. The no contact is not working! He keeps telling me he is not the same man he was...why can't I see that and give him a chance?!? No matter how many times I have told him I don't trust him and I do not want to talk to him, he is relentless! He is absolutely brainwashing our children. Pitched a fit that I took them to my therapist a few days ago without discussing it first! Really?!? Every single conversation is ALL about him...how much he is suffering...how much he has done. I got a text from him this morning about how he tried texting me last night (I ingnored) told him I missed it, he texted same time as my brother. "well I am sorry if I did something to upset you" I ignored again. "so you are just not going to talk to me now" I have been telling him for 5 months that I don't want to talk to him!!! I want to slam my head into the wall! I started my anti anxiety meds today...something I was terrified to do but no longer have a choice! It is either that or I end up in a ditch somewhere. It absolutely floors me how someone can have that much control over another?!? And to think that is love? I just need one thing to fall into place and I can keep pushing forward...