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Acceptance

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#1 Dec 7 - 4AM
Klarity Belle
Klarity Belle's picture

Acceptance

A recent post here on forgivenss inspired me to post my thoughts on the subject. I don't feel it is so much a case of forgiveness as working towards acceptance. I am currently working towards the following:-

Acceptance that the N is disordered and will not change.

Acceptance that I too played a part in the dysfunctional dance that brought me to this point in my life NOW.

Acceptance that I have a responsibility to myself and my children to take steps to protect us all from his destructive behaviours.

Acceptance that I have until now been to a large extent co-parenting while still placating/stroking the ego of this beast of a man in order that he does not take his anger out on our daughters.

Acceptance that no matter what I do, my daughters will have emotional wounds to work through because of what has happened in their lives. I can help this process by getting them professional help now.

Acceptance and compassion for ex N's current wife and mother of my children's baby sister. She enables his abuse of my children by supporting his behaviours towards them and gaslighting alongside him to portray me as the bad guy.

Acceptance that my disdain for her has been largely because I once stood where she does now, lost and confused and so desperately clinging to a dream that I had bought into with all my heart but in reality wasn't true.

Acceptance that I will recover but I cannot do it alone and it will take time.

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http://www.storyofmylife.com/KLARITY4

"The deeper that sadness carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." ~ Kahlil Gibran

Dec 7 - 6AM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

you only forgot one...

http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/12/forgiving-one-who-deserves-forgiveness.html ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website
Dec 7 - 7AM (Reply to #2)
4joys4
4joys4's picture

Acceptance is good. But

Acceptance is good. But compassion toward anyone who is messing with your children's minds or helping someone else to do it? Um..no.
Dec 7 - 8AM (Reply to #3)
Ellen
Ellen's picture

thankyou 4joys4

Yes thankyou 4joys4, I just quickly read this post and thought now whats wrong here and it was what you just said. I have copied it 'Acceptance and compassion for ex N's current wife and mother of my children's baby sister. She enables his abuse of my children by supporting his behaviours towards them and gaslighting alongside him to portray me as the bad guy'. She enables the abuse of your children and you feel compassion for her.................not bloody likely, noone gaslights my children or portrays me as the baddie and has anything but contempt from me. Stuff her and him.
Dec 7 - 4PM (Reply to #4)
Klarity Belle
Klarity Belle's picture

Worded that so wrong

What I should have said was....I am pissed as hell at her right now for standing by this idiot who has just betrayed her, her child and my children all over again. My wording in my original post perhaps gives the impression I am still 'allowing' her to gaslight me and enable him. Thats not the case and my boundaries are set FIRM. What I meant by having compassion for her is that she hasn't got to that place yet where she can accept the reality of what she chose for herself in buying into the bullshit of this fake man, marrying him and having his child. It doesn't change my mind or my boundaries of protection one bit. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "The deeper that sadness carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." ~ Kahlil Gibran http://www.storyofmylife.com/KLARITY4

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The deeper that sadness carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." ~ Kahlil Gibran

"That which we do not confront in ourselves we meet as fate" ~ Carl Jung

http://www.storyofmylife.com/KLARITY4