The narcissist's stare

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#1 Feb 16 - 9PM
Lookonthesunnyside's picture

The narcissist's stare

Did your N have an intense way of looking at you?? My ex had the nicest eyes everrrr, seriously I hate him, but he has gorgeous (evil) eyes. Anyways, on our first date I wasnt even that into him but there was a moment when I was giggling and he looked at me in this intense way and held my gaze and it honestly kinda took my breath away! I know thats really cheesy sounding, but he had this way of looking at me that made me so attracted to him, and made me feel so loved and desired.

Then one day my mom said "jeez, he has this real way of looking at you. I catch him looking at me like hes really trying to figure me out". And I said "oh...I thought he only looked at me that way..." Apparently not! Ive been reading about how psychopaths have an intense stare. He probably IS "figuring out" or sizing up people with that intense gaze, and not in a good way.

Seriously though, his eyes are hypnotizing. Its crazy.

Anyone else find this with their N?

Feb 18 - 9AM
nlvr7's picture


several of my friends made the same comment "he looks like a wolf" and he always had the exact. same. smile. *shutters*
Feb 18 - 9AM
miranda's picture

yes, his eyes were dark and

yes, his eyes were dark and dead looking, but i never saw it in real life, only in photos, they just look evil, despite the smile....god these men really are something else arent they!!
Feb 18 - 9AM
neverlookback's picture


My own grown adult children both commented to me how this man was just staring at me so intently at my father's funeral - now that is pretty bad when others notice on this level - they said it creeped them out and got a bad feeling from it and said, Mom, who is that guy anyway, he has not taken his eyes off you - - Red flags all over the place and I was the LAST to trust my intuition NEVER AGAIN
Feb 17 - 4PM
Alice in Wonderland
Alice in Wonderland's picture

xn was Jekyll and Hyde with

xn was Jekyll and Hyde with his eyes depending on how close to D&D it was. He would,especially at the beginning,have these intense 'smiling' eyes which i adored,to then changing to emptiness,like there was nothing there,dead,it was like a different person completely.
Feb 17 - 8AM
Hunter's picture Hunter
Feb 17 - 3AM
dudette's picture

mine turned black

My N's eyes turned jet black a couple times when he was visibly trying to contain his anger. His ex wife used to call it the mask as apparently he was always like this at home with her after they married, behind closed doors. She also got the Silent treatment a lot. I only got tyhe ST once and dumped his straight away..... The last time a BF had eyes that turned like that, he was usually about to push me against the wall by my throat... I can see a pattern there... I dumped that one too....
Feb 17 - 2AM
Jar of hearts
Jar of hearts's picture

The death stare....

It only happened a couple of times but it sent a chill down my spine I swear his eyes glowed red! ( or they would of done if he was able to make them lol) he was just missing his horns that's all... This was at the end when he had moved on even though I didn't know at the time! He wooed me with his intense smiley eyes at the beginning how quickly they change! Glad to be out of it? You bet :-) he is hoovering and I'm ignoring !!
Feb 18 - 9AM (Reply to #7)
redsunset13601's picture

I can relate to the eye

I can relate to the eye thing. I watched my N's eyes turn completely bright orange! he has brown eyes that do sometimes turn black as cole, but one evening i was setting in the chair and he was all up in my face screaming about some stupid thing i did not agree with and i watched his eyes turn from brown to this glowing orange i asked him during his rage i said wtf?? is wrong with ur eyes? he said what are u talking about.. I said go look in the mirror there a bright orange! freaked me out...he said to me with a smirk in a quit tone of voice.... my eyes are not orange ur insane! i said no seriously go look at ur eyes and again he said i will not ur crazy....he walked away into the next room...only good thing about that i guess is he stopped screaming at me.
Feb 17 - 2AM
Alissa's picture

Yes my N has that stare too ,

Yes my N has that stare too , especially during hoovers. He would try to stare in my eyes as deeply as possible and I ALWAYS had to look away. I couldn't stare back, it was scary. Also, the first time we kissed, I opened my eyes and looked at him and his eyes freaked me out. They looked so old. So dead.
Feb 17 - 12AM
HadEnough80's picture

My theory

Actually I have a theory about Ns. I think the best way to find out if a guy is a N is through his eyes. They can be totally gorgeous, everything about them, but if you pay enough attention you will find something different in their eyes. As if it is the only true path to their soul. I could never stare at my Ns eyes, because I felt there was some evil in them! So I totally agree about the eyes thing!! :)
Feb 17 - 12AM
Armed's picture

Yes mine did. He also never

Yes mine did. He also never liked other people looking into his eyes and wore sunglasses all the time. He always wanted glasses on during pictures and most pics he took without them showed his demon. I did some research on this, and I read that demons will show themselves ever so often. Weird. They stare to intimidate you and as you said to size you up. They are looking for your vulnerabilities so they can exploit and attack.
Feb 17 - 7PM (Reply to #3)
Ndance's picture

So creepy...

Mine wore sunglasses in a lot of his pics, also; in pics w/o his sunglasses on, there was always something off about his gaze into the camera. There were times when after I would break down from his crazy narc attacks, he would stare at me with this intense gaze as if he was studying my anguish. Every so often, I always noticed out of the corner of my eye him again, just staring at me. Not to mention that he used to ask me to do certain things (normal actions, i.e. wash my hands) just to watch me. I get goosebumps just thinking about it.
Feb 16 - 10PM
ichooselife's picture

I know that look.

One part of me thinks its fascinating. The other part of me, I guess the healthy side of me, decides on purpose to turn away when I see that. I know that theres a world of pain waiting for me behind that look.Thats what I have to remind myself. A person who never can bond to me; someone who wouldnt shed a tear if i died,even if ive been with him for years; someone who wont care about my likes, dislikes, past tramas, fears.....Yeah they have a wierd kind of charisma, but its just not worth it. Im starting to be attracted to kind men, thank God. I dont want to be like one of those termites thats drawn to the lights and gets zapped.