Hey Hunter, question for ya!

15 posts / 0 new

#1 Jan 27 - 5PM

coffeeaddict66

Hey Hunter, question for ya!

Since "normal men dont play the triange game", could you
please tell me what a "normal" man looks like? Better yet, are they extinct? Is there a "normal man" exhibit somewhere, possibly next to a dinasour exhibit, so I can take a day trip and visit and take some pictures?

Thanks for letting me vent some sarcasim.
Coffee

#2 Jan 27 - 10PM

Hunter

Is there a good guy out there

Is there a good guy out there the answer is yes,, it's not easy.. Once someone challenged me when I said it takes me 3 minutes to picks these freaks out.. By now yes ..3 minutes is all I need.. Years ago when narced dumped me the first time it took at least three years till I even wanted to date.. It was an interview process.. If one thing was off it was good bye.. Funny.. I had no shrink no Meds it was a result of a being narced.. I met my husband.. There were no fireworks.. None of that ,slowly we got to know each other. Then slowly we deceided to marry.. He's a kind man with a wonderful family.. Always a class act.. I almost fucked everything up .. God was watching over me.. He would never in a million years behave as these creatures do never.. Are the good guys out there .. Yes.. You just need too look.. Never settle. Hunter

#3 Jan 27 - 8PM

matahari

I was married to a narc and

I was married to a narc and have always been attracted to them becos of their charisma, style(suited and booted) and 'charm'...any way i decided i had to change the way i think about a man and give the not so charismatic a chance...then I met this guy who is a builder...now i was not in my comfort zone but i thought hey give this guy a chance...He turns out to be such a laugh....what u see is what you get sort of guy...and the best thing is he does not know how to use the computer..YES!! Half the time he is in his working clothes and is a hard worker and believes in treating a woman right. my best frind refered to him as a rough diamond and that is really what he is. I guess what im trying to say among the narcs there are some good guys but we want the nice lookin, nice smelling,educated, drives a nice car kinda man.....we read too many fairy tales lol!!!Dont get me wrong i am sure there are some narc builders too!! but u know what i mean.xx

#4 Jan 27 - 5PM

onwithmylife

coffee and cream,haha

i am so right with you, can we get a pass for two, I would like some company as well, i could write abook on the hopeless men i have met online, one never did give me his cell phone number just the hotel and room number where he was staying, i should have said, yea for a million dollars baby, nutcases all they think about is what is between their legs, pathetic......never did meet the man needless to say and he went home empty handed, poor baby..........

#5 Jan 27 - 6PM (Reply to #2)

coffeeaddict66

Uhhhhhh......

I seriously doubt he went home totally empty-handed.

#6 Jan 27 - 6PM (Reply to #3)

onwithmylife

coffeeaddict

at least it was not from me.............

#7 Jan 27 - 6PM (Reply to #4)

coffeeaddict66

LOL

Smart lady!! Now we know you can spot a narc. Here is the real mission....find that "normal guy" I think it cant be done. Anyone that can prove me wrong,I would love to hear it!!! Coffee

#8 Jan 27 - 6PM (Reply to #12)

Im_always_fine

Oh Yeh...now I can spot a

Oh Yeh...now I can spot a NARC. Problem is THEY ARE EVERYWHERE!!!!!! EV-ER-RY WHERE! I see them in restaurants, stores, on TV. And in hindsight I know a few others!

#9 Jan 27 - 6PM (Reply to #5)

onwithmylife

coffeeaddict

there are a few woman here on the board, old timers like me, who have met some decent guys, but I am not one of them, sad to say, internet has got to be the worst from my experience.............

#10 Jan 27 - 6PM (Reply to #6)

nomasnomas

New Found awareness

Since my break up two weeks ago, I have been reading intensively on this subject - I now see them everywhere - both men and women - I read somewhere that we live in a "pleasure seeking " society and the love brings one of the biggest highs on earth - this is a scary thing - My history has replicated itself several time - I am addicted to the charm, charisma, and greatness and that is the same recipe for the narcs - I am sitting here thinking that I will not be able to ever love again - because the odds are high it will be another NARC - at first they are wonderful - they take you to the highest mountain - then you drop like a bomb - and the pain and suffering and feeling of total loss and despair can only assimilate itself to a drug junkie - is there no hope for me? NomasNomas

#11 Jan 27 - 7PM (Reply to #7)

fooled no longer

I know how you feel. The

I know how you feel. The answer lies in not giving so much in your relationship dont overreach to compensate for the lack he is. That way narcs or arseholes will reveal themselves. Dont be in a rush, dont be pressured into sex. Most importantly make yourself the partner to please. We are social conditioned to define ourselves through men. Dont do it. Have fun.

#12 Jan 27 - 7PM (Reply to #8)

nomasnomas

Overeach in a realtionship

I did do that - I went over and beyond the call of duty - I made it happen - I went to him, it was all about him - his kids his family his friends - and I lost myself - that is probably why I am feeling so down> I am grieving - I am in my pajama pants in bed with a hole in my heart - my body actually hurts - any thoughts on how long it takes for your body to stop the flu like symptoms - my back also hurts - This is the worst it has ever been - Make myself the partner to please - how do you do that? NMNM

#13 Jan 27 - 7PM (Reply to #9)

fooled no longer

I did the same, i thought i

I did the same, i thought i could make up for what he lacked I couldnt but i nearly killed mysdlf trying. Treat yourself as the thing of highest value in your life. How do you make yourself the partner to please. You understand your needs, you validate them and you expect them to be met, just as you are willing to give. Your in bed thats great. So i am I and its sheer joy, enjoy it read relax sing. Own that narc free space. I find myself thinking of those homeless people, who would love my bed. I enjoy it to the full. I know the hole in the heart feeling, youll get better, you dont really have a hole it just feels that way. It will heal stronger. Our minds play very amazing tricks on us. Tell your subcobcious your 500 times better off now. (When you get triggered distract yourself.) And Believe me you are. Just Love yourself. Till the next friend shows up. Xx

#14 Jan 27 - 11PM (Reply to #10)

nomasnomas

cannot sleep

There is so much that is happening to my person - I cannot sleep, when I doze off from exhaustion I wake up with a jump not knowing where I am - and then realize this is all true and that I am not in his bed and we are over - I am not taking meds - I have been chain smoking for two weeks and I think that is finally tapering down - I have no energy and my body aches - and just wondering if any of you have experienced this HELL - I read the recipe is exercise , good eating and sleeping and staying entertained - but quite honestly I just do not have it in me - its been two weeks and do not know how much longer - each day is an incredible effort -I have my Mom in an assisted living and have not seen her in two days - there is so much on my plate and cannot seem to function - I want my life back!

#15 Jan 28 - 5AM (Reply to #11)

Snowflake

The internet

for finding men I think is a bad way to look. Its a narcs paradise, they can be anynoe they want and the good ones have you hooked before you even meet. Internets can hide so much xxx

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