I have been reading everything I can get my hands on regarding NPD and have come across Sam Vaknin. Is he a reliable source regarding getting into the head of a narcissist?
Without Sams book, which i bought after going through years trying to work out what this person i was with was about, i would be still trapped, and quite possibly in the looney bin or suicidal.
I searched google for " lack of empathy", I was not entirely convinced, yet every thing Sam said he would do he has since done to the letter. Every single thing Sam saud would happen has happened in the year since I left him and confronted him.
I would never have believed it if I hadnt lived it. If Sam saves the life of just one woman, then good luck to him.
I for one will recommend any woman involved with a narc to read.
He is the only one who gives tactics to manage the Narc.
I dont care if hes a narc or a phsycopath. He knows the behaviour of a narc inside out.
And i suspect serious narcs and Psycos arent so far apart.
Read and learn.
I've read criticisms of him that he got his "doctorate" online. That he has ulterior motives (yup..he's a narc)
My position is that "It takes one to know one"
It's no different than having been through a relationship with a narcissist, it can not be adequately described to someone who hasn't experienced it. It has to be EXPERIENCED to be understood or even believed.
I have read a lot of his online materials. It was like he was describing the NARC/pimp I live with in shocking DETAIL.
If someone gave me a million dollars and only did it look like a big shot...I'd still take the money!!
If Sam Vaknin has an agenda I don't care, he's given us incredible insight into the narc.
Yes i too have seen an interview on Sam and he is a Narcissist he admits it and talks openly about it there are some funny parts in there too.
I got a shock to find out that he has Narcissism but that explains why he know so much about it in such deep detail it's because he it lives within him every day.
He knows exactly what he is talking about from the inside out and for him to be so honest about it and share his knowledge and give us insight as to what go's on in the mind of a Narcissist i am extremely grateful for as it was his exact precision on the behaviors and characteristic's of my ex N that i knew this guy was hitting everything on the head i was often left with my mouth open as to his in depth knowledge on the behaviors of my ex N.
People can criticize all they want but if they knew anything about Narcissism they would know that Sam Vaknin talks no bull.... now he definitely gives incredible insight to the mind of a narcissist.
I completely agree with you " It takes one to know one" and trying to explain it to someone who hasn't been through it is very difficult they just don't understand....and I really hope they never have to understand because their better off without that kind of evil ever touching there lives.
He is a "self diagnosed" narcissist, not a clinically diagnosed narcissist.
Clinically diagnosed, he is a schizoid psychopath.
I doubt Dr hare would comment if it wasn't true.
Yes reading his book at the moment :)
I've watched all his youtube video clips hes blunt and straight to the point no mucking around and i like that.
The one that woke me up when i was in the confused state thinking should i give him a second chance? will there ever be closure? he said it very nicely " if your looking for closure with a narcissist..... FAT CHANCE"...... i just kept replaying that section because it made me laugh but also to sink it into my head.
Great source.
A very reliable source. Much of his material is very helpful.
Have you read Lisa's book as well? If not, make sure to. It is a ver necessary tool to your healing!
His was the first book i bought and used it as my bible, i know he is a narc, but it was the most insightful book for me to understand who the man was, that I spent 15 years with, it is really good...
How can you trust a narcissist to tell you the truth about narcissism when one of their main characteristics is self oriented motivated lying?
Wasn't he diagnosed as a schitzoid psychopath anyway?
Wouldn't that mean that his definitions of narcissism all this time, (based on his own view of himself) were actually of a psychopath?
Whats in it for him to educate people? What are his reasons for educating victims of narcissists?
Why would he want victims of narcissists to recover if he is a psychopath who enjoys watching people suffer?
In my opinion, the info is 1/2 good and half distorted,and the advice is 1/2 good and half distorted but still worth the read for the 1/2 good education and advice.
You have to start somewhere though, and he is a fair enough common place. Try the book over here too, I'm sure its a worthwhile read.
The best lesson I learned from Mr Vaknin was what he really was about vs what he tells us he is about. This was the most priceless awareness education of all.
I'd recommend two books to start with - Thomas Sheridan - Puzzling People - and listen to him on youtube. I also really liked Snakes in Suits - Hare and Babiak. Lisa's books here are the first ones I read.
I've read about twelve books I think - they all contribute something - and there's a lot online to read along with Sam V, so you can see where people correspond. It's also good to know that basically, they are all offering similar advice - run away, stay away, look after yourself properly, get help if you need it. xx
Without Sams book, which i
I've read criticisms of him
End of the day he knows what he's talking about.
He is a "self diagnosed"
GoodJobMaggster
Yes very good
A very reliable source. Much
maggster
From one n to the next
I agree
I'd recommend two books to