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because of him

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#1 Nov 29 - 5PM
blueworld
blueworld's picture

because of him

because he ffn sang to me all the time all day everyday

i cant listen to hardly anything without crying!!!!

i hate this!!!

everything reminds me when he sang it or left it on my voice mail or sang it at karaoke or when we drove in the car together

god i hate him
music songs singing everywhere

Nov 29 - 8PM
Sparrow
Sparrow's picture

Blue, there was a day, way

Blue, there was a day, way back when, that I could barely get out of bed in the morning. I would drive to work crying, all the way while listening to music that reminded me of him, of us. They were the early stages of healing, same place that you are now. If someone would have told me than that I wouldn't always feel that way, I would not have believed them. I was in such a dark place, no one recognized me, I didn't recognize me. Who was this stranger that ad taken over Susan's body? Certainly wasn't the Susan I knew............ This s the beginning for you. It is hard, there is no doubting that. And I'm afraid to tell you, it gets harder before it gets easier. But you will get there. Stay NC, stay on the forum, and educate yourself on the disorder. But most important, educate yourself on you, and how you came to succumb to be supply to the narc. That my friend, is the key...............you will be enlightened and empowered. It takes a long time, but it s worth the journey. Mourn the loss of the relationship, don't deny yourself the grieving time. Take your time and the steps necessary to heal. You will be ok. You will. :)
Nov 29 - 8PM (Reply to #6)
blueworld
blueworld's picture

i love you guys

I seriously cannot express how close I feel to all of you it is like having close girlfriends to turn to....never had this before..means so much to me..and my healing Love to you all
Nov 29 - 8PM (Reply to #7)
EiPuff (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Me too

I feel the same way, blue world :)
Nov 29 - 5PM
Im_always_fine
Im_always_fine's picture

I now loathe country music!

I now loathe country music! Even dancing. Because he hijacked my rhythm. He used to strip (which he didn't tell me until 8 months in) and honestly he's a GREAT dancer which swept me off my feet (because dancing was so important to me) but eventually we had to dance HIS way to HIS choreography (you know nothing natural...everything is SCRIPTED to feed the attention beast) we did a lot country dancing so he had to lead. Dancing used to be my flotation device...it gave me so much joy. Now my skin crawls at the idea of dancing. He's OBSESSED with X Factor... Britain's Got Talent...American Idol...So You think You Can Dance...The Voice. He even tapes them (he's a truck driver) I find his own desperation for fame PATHETIC. Last August I found an e-mail from his to a married X, "Hardly a day goes by that don't stop and think of you. Whenever I hear our song I imagine singing it to you. You are in my heart and on my mind, I guess that means I miss you." Found that e mail over 500 others between him and many many other women...some married...some he was sleeping with...some just dirty sexting. RRRARRG I'll stop now....
Nov 29 - 5PM (Reply to #4)
blueworld
blueworld's picture

im always fine

mine is 23 he is addicted to the idea of being on american idol the voice x factor the glee project he is convinced he is making it big and going to be as big as micheal buble he is always singing recording in studios other peoples songs singing karaoke youtubing himself has music myspace and face book obsessed and actually thinks he deserves it i mean he didnt purposely use lie and abuse me he didnt spend three years physically abusing me *rolls eyes*
Nov 29 - 5PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Yep..

Yep.. Triggers.. Sorry.. Hunter
Nov 29 - 5PM (Reply to #2)
blueworld
blueworld's picture

changed my music

i can only listen to what he hasnt sung to me which is all my techno shit lol god i hate him all his singing and wanting to be a big huge star and performer and all the freaking times he dedicated songs to me i will survive this i will get past this only been two months i keep telling myself i was with him three years time ....... grrrrrrrrrrr!!!