I should have

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#1 Nov 27 - 2PM
DLP75
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I should have

I should have added this on my former post earlier, but one of the things I'm having a REAL hard time with, is that my Narc and I were together ten years. Don't those memories of ten years mean ANYTHING to her. Do I NEVER cross her mind at all?? How on earth does a person experience another human being for that length of time, and discard you as if you never existed??? I'm having a REAL hard time getting past that.

Feb 9 - 2PM
oceangirl
oceangirl's picture

For me, or my N, he

For me, or my N, he compartmentalized so much, and he is extrememly angry, so I think he would most likely view it as anger and how he didn't have control over what went wrong. I would see him be hurt/angry from what his own father and brothers and life did to him, or what his former coworkers did to him (it was never his fault mind you) so it just becomes another annoyance. It is hard to fathom, however. Mindboggling. It happened to my friend, too, and I watched her ex-husband dumb her and her two awesome, amazing kids. Mindboggling.
Feb 9 - 2PM
oceangirl
oceangirl's picture

For me, or my N, he

For me, or my N, he compartmentalized so much, and he is extrememly angry, so I think he would most likely view it as anger and how he didn't have control over what went wrong. I would see him be hurt/angry from what his own father and brothers and life did to him, or what his former coworkers did to him (it was never his fault mind you) so it just becomes another annoyance. It is hard to fathom, however. Mindboggling. It happened to my friend, too, and I watched her ex-husband dumb her and her two awesome, amazing kids. Mindboggling.
Nov 28 - 10AM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Join the club.. Sick empty

Join the club.. Sick empty freaks with no love or soul.. Sorry to say it is what it is!!! :( Hunter
Nov 27 - 4PM
ruby01 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

DLP75

I think that what they do is habit. They get to that fork in the road moment and out of fear and habit run for the hills. I choose to believe that in some cases they do regret it afterward, for a time. I also think that rather than feel regret that might be painful they keep telling themselves a lie about what happened to the point that they honestly believe it. They rewrite history, and move on with a clean slate. The man I was with certainly did not forget some of his past victims, unfortunately it was with total contempt. So I believe YES you do cross her mind, just not in the way you would hope to be remembered. Sorry, but they have major issues!
Nov 27 - 6PM (Reply to #6)
DLP75
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Thanks ruby01!

Thank you, your comment helps.
Nov 27 - 4PM
Hermes
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I don't think so DLP

How are you. After an ordinary break-up, even if painful, I am sure the two parties do sometimes look back on times together, and it would be odd if they didn't. They may look back with melancholy or even with some affection, after a time. Since the NPD appear to have a deficient grasp of time and space, among other things, I am certain they do not look back in any normal sense of that word. But one of the salient aspects of NPD is that they objectify the "other", and by that I mean they see the other as one would see a fridge or chair. Useful, but not something you stop to think about a lot, and just there on the periphery of your vision. It is awfully hard to take that on board, because we can't believe we were well-nigh invisible. The sad truth is that we were. All the best Hermes
Nov 27 - 6PM (Reply to #4)
DLP75
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Thanks!

Thank you Hermes, I appreciate the help.
Nov 27 - 2PM
Used
Used's picture

DLP75

I am one of the minority ,who do think they still think of it, you wouldnt be human otherwise, and there are regrets, but sometimes things have gone so far there is no going back....thats when they put it all out of their mind....but its always there, I know this... 3mnths out, the wound is still painful...
Nov 27 - 3PM (Reply to #2)
DLP75
DLP75's picture

Again, thanks!

I appreciate your comment, thanks!