marebear's Story

11 posts / 0 new

#1 Nov 21 - 9PM

marebear

marebear's Story

I have been NC for one year now

The whole thing has been so surreal

I met my ex on match He said he was a runner, but not true as he had heart attack and pacemaker He was an athletic and lacrosse star in his heyday said he married the prettiest girl in junior class and dated prettiest girl in senior class
When I meet him he was still living with ex wife not divorced, but dating he was dating all his ex girlfriends from HS which he had not consumated relationships-had sex with all of them that were willing additionally dated two girls best friend set him up with-both dumped him I stopped e-mailing for about a month an then he contacted me to ask what happpeded We started to talk, but said he could not see me because his best friend died and how dare me ask him to go to movie so he moved out east after divorce and I did not e-mail him Four months later, after I got a job promotion, he e-mails me asking if I am seeing anyone I tell him I am in a good place and do not really want to see him several months later when I am breaking up with non commital boyfriend we get together for dinner he is still an a-hole so I leave and say not seeing him again and go back to your wife I do not hear from him for five months then he e-mails me again we start dating but he is still on match even though we have an relationship he denies he is on match even though I can see he is online he moves in he movels out he dates other woman he moves in he moves oute i am hurt and don't know what to do he threatens me I get a restraining order he begs we get back together we go on vacation we get back and leaves me because I want to run a half marathon my mother has breast cancer nd he leaves me and he shows up on my door step two months later when I am semi dating someone else He gets angry when I am dating someone else tells me he wants to take me to a play and have sex and when I say know turns out he is seeing woman from seven yeardds ago he bought house and mail is still coming to my address cant seem to get-past this saw them at the beach in may walking hand and hand feel so abused and left out
Tl

#2 Nov 23 - 10AM

Used

marebear

Welcome to the forum and friends...NC for a year is amazing...match .com, better known as THE NARCS DELIGHT... THATS ONE SUPPLY THEY NEVER GIVE UP..

#3 Nov 23 - 11AM (Reply to #10)

marebear

serial dater

Used this is well put. I was naïve at the time and was looking for a relationship did not realize at the time that match was source of supply for these predators have dated a few more men from this but had to dump them all bc they all fall under the "serial dater" definition. Not dating for a while until I fully come to the point where I love myself unconditionally do not want to wind up with another narc

#4 Nov 23 - 9AM

Sparrow

As Hunter says "Welcome to

As Hunter says "Welcome to Narcville". Your disordered man is a serial dater, plain and simple, and will NEVER change. He doesn't even have to seek new supply, he just seems to be rotating the ones he has had all his life. It is up to you to change that cycle! Dump him, and move on. Don't let him know where you are, how you are, or who you are with. As far as Match.com is concerned, that is his playground. He will NEVER give that up. I guarentee Match isn't the only site he is on either. He will continue this cycle until you put an end to it. By your story, it seems you can even mark your calendar as to when to expect to hear from him. He's a runner? Tell him to keep on running......right past you. Good luck and know that you are way ahead of the game. 1 year NC under your belt, its ok if you are starting over, just make it your last time and send your meassage to him loud and clear. NC, NC, NC......you can see right through him. You deserve better, you deserve more.......nothing short of that is acceptible. :)

#5 Nov 23 - 10AM (Reply to #7)

marebear

Thank you Sparrow. As I

Thank you Sparrow. As I mentioned I have been nc for over a year he moved on with the old supply that he was dating before his divorce the one he told me about when he showed up at my house a year ago when I said I would not see him again. He also closed his account on match when he started to see her which really upset me bc he was always on match when he was dating me that made me think he loved her until I started to read about narcs and went to therapy since nc I have run 3 half marathons got a promotion at work and acquired a healthy supportive group of friends why is the impt bc the final D n D was bc I wasn't paying enough attention to him bc I wanted to train for a marathon. I just proves to me that I am a strong woman and thrived inspite of his abuse and trying to kick me to the ground. Have a great Thanksgiving as I have a lot to be thankful for

#6 Nov 23 - 12PM (Reply to #8)

Sparrow

Glad to hear

Glad to hear marebear.........he is a loser. Leave him in the past! Good luck with your continued NC, continued training/running, and continued strength......a lot of members here could benefit from your experiences. Hope you visit here often. Happy Thanksgiving to you as well!

#7 Nov 22 - 8AM

Hunter

Welcome .. To Narcville

Welcome .. To Narcville .. Hunter

#8 Nov 21 - 9PM

aceonelady

marebear...i am so sorry

Is obvious he is a player,addicted on women and dating.Sorry but you will go nowhere with this man,he isn't even trying to hide online...just let it go ,please.You or someone else...for this guys and specially from what i read this one,who he is with is irrelevant...You being here says that you have feelings for him....but for him you are just one more supply waiting in line for his crumbs and games...just block him and go NC....you do not want to live in a state of anguish and low self esteem..i have been through hell too,and still am,because i did hang out every action and words of my ex N...went NC ,then he came back ,through email...when i did not respond,he put up a friend act,then when i did respond he sent me an email saying thanks for not sending him a bunch of emails ...and that he would talk to me later....i told him to not contact me anymore,then he said he has no reason to communicate with me ,in fact he wants to keep it for himself....i am NC again,and believe me that's the way i will stay.I am sad,but is a no win situation with them.Cry now or cry later.Please go NC...he has others to torment.Do not feel guilty.Just do it.Hughs

Aceonelady

#9 Nov 21 - 10PM (Reply to #2)

marebear

I cried a million tears for

I cried a million tears for this this man over the last year but I have had nc he is with former gf from before his divorece she is ow he os treating her better?

#10 Nov 21 - 10PM (Reply to #3)

aceonelady

the ow marebear

No,they do not change.He is playing her like he played you...he is just taking something from her right now,supply as always...Like a vampire ,always biting over here and over there...that's what they are and what they do...they are impatient and get bored easily,specially a dating site Vampire....Is not you,is not her is them.They are simentally ill,disordered....just block hi,get away from him,he is not changing no matter if you are doing everything right,or if you are beautiful,thin or rich...They never have enough...is a bottomless well...Stop putting your energy on him...i have been there ,done that ,believe me....

Aceonelady

#11 Nov 22 - 6AM (Reply to #4)

marebear

nc for a year

I have had NC with narc for a year last time was when he showhed up at my house when i was dating someone else and asked me to go to play and have sex when i said no he sent me a bunch of nasty e-mails saying that I was an awful person and he wanted to give me another chance but he had an angel on his side and forget it anyway because he meet a new lady that he was smitten with told me I abused him this went on for a week and I kept responding until i talked to a friend who was a therapist and she said not to answer him I immediately started to go for therapy and went for a year to get through the crisis I did love him and tried everything to make it work even though he cheated and tormented me i kept thinking it was something I was doing or not doing the therapist helped me realize it was not my fault and nothing i could do would be good enough I know it was my childhood issues that drove me to someone like him however I am still hurt by the way he just walked out secured another old supply a woman I knew who was waiting in the wings every time he D & D which he did several times for no reason for months on end until he would just show up as if nothing happened then when i saw him at the beach with her in May I was running on the boardwalk and I just kept going as if I did not know him then I started to get his mail recently and I realized he moved into a house probably with new supply He lived with me for awhile as owned my own house but he made my life disruptive and i eventuallly had to ask him to leave after he got mad at me on night and threw the kitchen furniture on the lawn and my neighbor called the police and had him removed as she thought he would kill me he kept coming back and begging me to see him but in the meantime he was dating a girl from HS I had to get a restraining order against him when I did the ex-wife had filed one a couple of years ago I did love this guy -the guy with the mask not the crazy guy I know he did not love me and that is the hardest part

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