I want off this roller coaster!
I want off this roller coaster!
4 weeks no contact for me today. I am proud of myself. This is the first time I have gone this long without at least sending him a text. I'm happy to be off his crazy roller coaster ride of he loves me, he loves me not and wondering when he's going to dump me next. On the other hand, now i'm on roller coaster ride #2. I go from celebrating, to missing him, to hating him, to sad, to picking up the phone, hanging up, feeling relief,crying and starting all over again. It's something about being with a Narc that seems to cut deeper than any other relationship. I use to tell ny friend I was happy because I could be myself with him. This was in terms of sense of humor and not always feeling like I had to look my best. I could relax and we got along really well until anything emotional took place. I wasn't myself at all because any sign of emotion, weakness, or objection would make him turn away frome me so I also turned into a robot. I was so passive and insecure, I don't know who I was. I excepted behavior that made me sick to my stomach time and time again. It was all about trying to get things back to the way they were. I question my strength. It's been a little easier for me to remain NC because he has not made any attempts, I don't know how strong I can be if he does.
I know this is a process, I just want it to be over. The constant memories, and thinking if I had done something different things would be different. I want me back, the real me...
meik, hang in there,
spinning
Thank you so much
You have a long road ahead of
meilk11
Unfortunatley I have no one
I am in the same place as you
Do you agree one of the most
It helps me when I remind myself that
Injustice of it all
I remember I went to my
Thank you Hunter, For some