It gets better, it honestly does

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#1 Oct 20 - 10AM
Sparrow
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It gets better, it honestly does

We have all experienced it. At first, we are shocked, hurt, confused, devistated. After a couple days, pain sets in. A very unfamiliar pain, one you know nothing about. The physical and emotional anguish. It's almost unbearable and you would rather die than to continue feeling this way. You may have been blindsided or you may have seen it coming for some time now. Either way, the pain and suffering is no different.

We find we can not live without this person in our lives. We are all at this point,co-dependent. Some will admit it, others won't. We find ourselves feeling completely and utterly alone and have no reason to believe we will survive this. After a few days of deep depression, we conjure up enough strength to start surfing the internet to find out what went wrong, we spend hours, days, weeks, some months, and we all discover the same thing, not necessarily within the same window of time, but we all discover we are victims of a narcissist. We discover this site and are blown away by how many victims like us there are out there in the world.

We start our journey, with the help and support of everyone on the forum. We are slowing coming to terms with what has happened to us and accept what has happened and want more than anything to heal. We all heal in different amounts of time. The journey is longer for some than others. The journey is the hardest thing you have ever had to do and sometimes you slip and think you will never get through this, but you do. Or you will........

I write this, because I want to express to everyone here, mainly the new members, that you are not alone. Everyone on here has walked in your shoes. There may be differences in how you got here, differences in the relationship you are healing from, differences in the circumstances, but the one thing we all share in common, our path forward, our healing. With all the same hard work, we will all heal and come out of the darkness intact. Better yet, we will all come out of this new and improved.

Remind yourself every day that with each day that you are focused on your healing, you are getting better. Some days are better than others, but they are each days in recovery that you are able to put behind you.

One day, you will find, that you no longer need or want to put any days behind you. You will look forward to each new day with anticipation, joy, excitement. And the most beautiful thing of all, your days will once again start with a smile and end with a smile.

Life is good..........and all your hard work and devotion to your healing, pays off ten-fold. So on the days that it just seems a little too tough, and much easier to give up, remember that what you are giving up is a lifetime of happiness for a years hard work. Not such a bad payoff when you look at it that way, huh? So don't give up, the rest of your life, full of happiness and contentment, is just around the corner.

Follow the yellow brick road.............

Oct 23 - 7PM
Sparrow
Sparrow's picture

You are all so very

You are all so very welcome.........everyone here will heal, with the help of each other. Nice to know that we aren't in this alone. It's what surely helped me........ Stay strong my friends, it is so worth it!
Oct 23 - 7PM
ruby01 (not verified)
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Sparrow

Thank you. You truly have a way with words! xxx, Ruby
Oct 23 - 6PM
indenial
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i hope so

This is lovely. I long for happiness again. I've forgotten what it feels like.
Oct 23 - 5PM
Tigerlily
Tigerlily's picture

Grat Post, Sparrow!

Beautifully written, and very inspiring. Love Tigerlily
Oct 23 - 4PM
a65703
a65703's picture

brilliant post

this gives me a lot of hope! You are lovely writer and express your feelings, emotions and depth so well like most commenters here! thank you! xx
Oct 21 - 1PM
dazedandcnonfused
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Sparrow

Great post. This is true. I never want to go through that pain again. I now look forward to a narc free life.
Oct 20 - 8PM
Redhead1
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Sparrow

You are awesome!!!!
Oct 20 - 7PM
Winter
Winter's picture

Thank you Sparrow

Yes, I agree. I does get better. I just reached the point when I start appreciate life again. Life is so full, so plenty of joy. You know, just sitting and watching TV and being able to concentrate on it without thinking about the narc is a blessing. A real blessing! Thank you Winter
Oct 20 - 1PM
NarcJunkie
NarcJunkie's picture

Thanks indeed :)

I was hooked on my Narc for a bit over a year, and I cried and suffered my way through this entire time - even through the courtship phase, bc he was still with his ex. Many times I've looked back and thought: WHY all this pain? Was this whole year just wasted??? It was hell alright, but if I get a lifetime of happiness for it and never fall for a Narc again, then yes! It will have been worth it! :)
Oct 20 - 11AM
GeorgiaGirl
GeorgiaGirl's picture

Thank you, Sparrow

"So on the days that it just seems a little too tough, and much easier to give up, remember that what you are giving up is a lifetime of happiness for a years hard work. Not such a bad payoff when you look at it that way, huh?" I really needed to see this today...it's been a rough one. I do want to give up sometimes and there are days that I miss him and the dream I thought we shared. Today is one of those days that make me want to cry. But why would I want to give up a lifetime of happiness to go back to that nightmare when I can just put in a year of hard work!
Oct 20 - 11AM
Sea
Sea's picture

Thank sparrow

Its friday tomorrow. End of week 11 for me. Going on week 12 from saturday. I do feel the peace, stability, calm. I still miss the pretend guy, ruminate sometimes. I wasnt feeling well this week and i so long for warm hug from him. I can even smell his cologne. I hope these would fade as time goes by.
Oct 21 - 7AM (Reply to #5)
onwithmylife
onwithmylife's picture

Sea

I use to like what my narc put on him, but after 2 plus years out it is all a distant memories and it will be for you after a while, I had a dream i saw him, this old decreipt looking man it was sad............
Oct 20 - 11AM
faithinthefuture
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I LOVE...

I LOVE "One day you will find you no longer need or want to put any days behind you. You will look forward to each new day with anticipation, joy, excitement. And the most beautiful thing of all, your days will once again start with a smile and end with a smile" Very wise & true words Sparrow. Beautiful! Thank you!
Oct 20 - 11AM
Amiee
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Thank you

The last two days have been harder than the ones before. I keep waiting for the days to pass when it won't hurt anymore...thank you
Oct 20 - 10AM
Froglegs
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Thank you for this. I needed

Thank you for this. I needed to read it today. :)