Wanted to share
Wanted to share
Wanted to share my meltdown I had last Sat. & my "AHA" moment because of it.
Next week I am moving to Narcs town to be with my daughter. It's a move I've contemplated for over a yr but didn't becuz didn't want to be in his town. I am leaving my elderly parents, my family, a good job, & a city I love. But she needs me. I need her. I am looking so forward to being with her again.
Last Sat. I had my estate sale which was a failure. After running the ad I am -$5. Wasn't depending on the $ but it would've helped my move. Hopefully this Sat will be more prosperous. During the sale a good friend of mine txted & asked "wth? narcboy is sitting next to me & trying to be my best friend" Told him "he's up to something" Friend said "maybe he wants the attention I'm getting from the bartender even w/skank sitting next to him"
It triggered something in me & I started shaking. My thought was why now he is trying to be friends? Maybe he found out I'm moving & wants to get info? Maybe he was trying to make skank jealous? I mean really who knows who gives a shit right?
But all the anxiety about moving, bad sale, anticipation of being in that town hit me like a brick Sat nite & I sobbed my heart out. I have not sobbed that hard since I kicked him out.
I woke at 2:30 am & went to the couch & it hit me. STOP! The life you had there before is NOT the life I am going to have this time. This is ONLY about my daughter & I. And how this time is all about us! And the true friends who have stayed by my side & believe in me!
I realized I am not going back the same person as when I left. I have grown. I am stronger. I am better now than I was then.
I'm going to take it one day at a time. One moment at a time.