What He Is Doing

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#1 Sep 19 - 11AM

GeorgiaGirl

What He Is Doing

I found this as a response from Cecelia to another poster who was struggling. I thought this was amazing.

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I can tell you what he is doing:

Online: he is doing what he always done, sitting on line, bored out of his mind wasting his time and spreading lies and trying to evade his own thoughts

Out & About: He is doing his absolute best to check his walk, his persona, his abilities to inflect his voice at JUST the right moment to a remark--he is flattering himself on his outfit & his right choice in groceries

At Work: Thinking how stupid his boss is, he can't stand the guy who just got a promotion and knows the place he works for doesn't deserve him--someday soon he's starting his OWN business,remember? And then he will show them all what a "real" man is!

With a new female: Using the SAME lines he said to you, recycling all he can from all his past situations to model for her exactly how he did with you--waits to think he has "control" of her (none of them really do, we allow them to blind us out of hope & love) and then chalks it all up to his incredible abilities, ahhh the fool.

With family:
Deeply insecure, he wants to love & admire them, but they know his incessent failure, they put up with him, try to make him look good to newbies, but in the end they really just try to stay out of his way--they've been burned too many times, outsiders are just another name on the list!

So there's the update--sadly victims dont make a mark on the radar, we're old news, yesterdays has beens, they are on to "new & better" things--see what I mean, not people...they don't see us, or anyone as people/soulmates blah blah blah adjective.

#2 Sep 20 - 1PM

mystwoman

Narcs are just SO

Narcs are just SO predictable, aren't they? Xnh is: 1. Running to his mommy's house out of state every chance he gets. To quote one of my friends, "Xnh is not quite 'titty broke'. 2. Has Rush or Queensryche in his car stereo (or both) since that is apparently the only real "music" in existence. These two bands have been in his car stereo endlessly since the 1970's. 3. Telling everyone that is either stupid enough to listen to him (or can't run away fast enough) what a horrible, sorry lot in life he lives. Xnh's horrible life is all the fault of: a. Me b. His first ex-wife c. The town he was forced to live in by his parents while he was in high school got hit 17 tornadoes in one night, and xnh was 'forced' to join the military. This of course, gave him "deep-seated emotional scars" because he was expected to actually obey orders and xnh got into trouble for his behaviors. Naturally, xnh getting reprimanded was the fault of "some stupid commander that had it out for xnh". Not that xnh was really doing anything wrong (like being late for his shift frequently or leaving his post while he drove down the street to get a hamburger). 4. Xnh is still telling everyone that his hideous P daughter is has "turned a corner" and is behaving SO much better now. I've heard him say this since she about 4 years old (she's 21 now). He enables her in every way and there was never any consequences for her actions from xnh. Maybe her behaving so much better means that she's not CURRENTLY in jail?!?! That could change at any moment, and xnh will still be saying the same thing about her until the day he dies. 5. Getting viruses on his computer from surfing the online porn sites, and visiting his "Rosie Palm" on a regular basis. This, of course, will be either my fault or some other's woman's because we're all just so frigid with him. Twenty years from now, I have absolutely no doubt that xnh will be exactly like he is today (and was in his past). Xnh changing is like telling the difference between a belch and a fart. The face may change but the smell is just the same. lol.

______________________________________________________
God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.

#3 Sep 19 - 8PM

Susan32

He is doing two things...

-Reading "War and Peace." (he was ALWAYS reading it, like those churches that read the whole Bible over a year) -Masturbating. Wow, what an exciting life I am missing out on.

#4 Sep 19 - 3PM

Never Again

it's true. NC is a blessing

I can't tell you all how much less I've been panicking. I'm not waiting around for the other shoe to drop. Or the next message to string me along or upset me beyond belief. For those of you still in contact. Trust me. STOP. It helps.

#5 Sep 19 - 4PM (Reply to #12)

Caligirl

Never Again

Or the weird phrases or explanations that made no sense, and got me thinking even more, or the disgusting comments or the endless droning about something he KNEW EVERYTHING ABOUT, bc he knew something about EVERYTHING...blah, blah

#6 Sep 19 - 11AM

Gravity

GeorgiaGirl

Truest thing i've ever heard. I literally laughed out loud. Especially at the "someday soon he's starting his OWN business,remember? And then he will show them all what a "real" man is!" - can't tell you how many times I heard my exP talk about how he didn't get paid enough at his job and they didnt deserve him and one day he was going to be "working in music and so rich that he lives on the ocean in california and will sail off into the sunset." I used to ask him what his plan for getting rich was and he obviously had no idea.. but of course he was 100% certain that he would be. Despite the fact that he can't even graduate college and has been at 3 different schools in the past 7 YEARS. puuhh leasse.

#7 Sep 19 - 8PM (Reply to #10)

Susan32

That Da*n Book

The ex-Psych prof talked about writing a book about Augustine&Wittgenstein, saying it would take a decade for him to write. It would've been published in '06, if he had been SERIOUS about it. I nicknamed it "That Da*n Book." He talked about being a paid lecturer, being published... he has hardly been published. *I'VE* been published more than him. Now, when I mused about writing a "War and Peace" musical (thank you GLEE for kick-starting that inspiration)... it FREAKED him out. His favorite book, turned into a song-and-dance extravaganza. Back in the '90s was not its time. But now, with Ke$ha, Lady GaGa, Katy Perry, Rihanna... its time has come. When Nicholas Rostov stalks Czar Alexander I, wouldn't Mother Monster's "Paparazzi" be PERFECT???

#8 Sep 19 - 12PM (Reply to #6)

Caligirl

Yes, this made me chuckle too

Mine was the same way. He had so many plans to make money and followed up with none of them! He also still dreams of being a famous musician. Says someday he's going to fix up his house and have a recording studio. When he is playing and singing in a small bedroom, by HIMSELF, he sings into a microphone and uses an amplifier. When it's just a couple of family members around, he acts like he is on stage performing. He used to sing to me into the mic and put on these seductive wooing faces. He'd wink and smile all the time. He had charts in his closet of various goals, diagrams of anatomy bc he wanted to be a chiro. His dreams were numerous and sometimes very far out!! He only took one college class and hated high school and wasn't a good student. I think he thought he didn't need college bc he was so talented and smart! Not

#9 Sep 19 - 12PM (Reply to #7)

Gravity

ha.ha.ha. Do we have the same

ha.ha.ha. Do we have the same narc!? Mine actually made his own facebook fanpage with his name on it. Only one person "liked it"... himself.

#10 Sep 19 - 2PM (Reply to #9)

Pride and Shame

LAUGHING!!

This cracked me up. I doubt he even likes himself!

#11 Sep 19 - 1PM (Reply to #8)

Caligirl

Lol, these narcs are so laughable when you

stand back and watch. I remember when I was in it, I thought his singing to me was sweet, but I was kinda uncomfortable too. Now, I look back and I feel sorry for him. His ego is so inflated to act this way, and he can't see himself from another's perspective. He looks ridiculous.

#12 Sep 19 - 11AM (Reply to #2)

GeorgiaGirl

Mine had a set of blueprints

in his closet when I met him. When I asked what they were he said they were something he'd had drawn up for his own mechanic shop. Really lured me in, thinking that he had enough money, insight, experience, backing, etc to run his own business. Guess what? Never happened. No plan, no decision-making, no nothing. And with a credit score in the 400's, I seriously doubt those plans will EVER fall in to place.

#13 Sep 19 - 2PM (Reply to #3)

uk lady

Mine was always working on some kind of

get rich quick scheme as he was always far too good for his current job. Funny that all the schemes entailed me giving up my job to start things rolling whilst he kept his to bankroll it. Strange how I never once bit his hand off for the opportunity of leaving myself destitute. I remember saying, "it's your dream, not mine" to whatever latest mad idea he would come up with. One time he even suggested us buying a pub together. His mother coming with us to manage it and in the process drink all the proceeds no doubt, me as the general dogsbody even though I would be co-owner and him keep his full time job and come back at weekends to help out. Ah, bless him. Probably would have had OW during the week too now I come to think about it. I don't think so sweetheart - as if???. Told him to stuff it where the sun don't shine. Makes me laugh now at his audacity. Dee x

#14 Sep 19 - 3PM (Reply to #4)

Never Again

so true

Mine was always thinking he was going to be a big star. Probably still does. He does exactly what you all said. Sat around on the web. Acting like he's all important, but yet. Nothing. He's never grown past 16 in my mind.

#15 Sep 19 - 8PM (Reply to #5)

Redhead1

What is with these narcs and

What is with these narcs and being Bon Jovi? Mine was either in a band singing like he was Jon Bon Jovi or running to the gym acting like arnold? Ex narc use to call me Martha Stewart even though I never bought her stuff, watch her shows etc. I guess he wanted me to be a star too. I always found it odd that he called me that. Maybe it was because I was a home cleaning.

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