Facebook

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#1 Sep 11 - 12PM

Whattoexpect

Facebook

How many of you have FB? Do you think your ex checks it? I have FB but I always have posts about how I am so happy he is gone and how I am having the time of my life lol.
Wonder if it pisses him off. he told me on the last D&D before this one that if I really loved him I wouldn't date right away! What an idiot! His older daughter is on my friends list, and she tells daddy everything! I am 50 days NC and going strong, had amjor set back the other day , but feeling better now thanks to all of you!

#2 Sep 12 - 8PM

peteyrulz

geez I'm a FB idiot!

I was thinking that since I deleted him as a friend that he would not be able to see anything about me, since all my settings are "friends only". It just occurred to me that he could look thru mutual friends. oy I'm an idiot. Bye bye FB!!! BTW I LOVE this place...it has been a Godsend these past few months. Much thanks to Lisa and everyone on here!

#3 Sep 12 - 10PM (Reply to #33)

rosedewittbukater

Peteyrulz

I thought the same thing as you! Don't feel silly. It didn't occur to me either right away. Another thing, someone else here mentioned that if they are the ones that blocked YOU, that they can unblock you any ol time they feel like it(say in the middle of the night or whenever) and go looking at you. I wasn't sure either what the diff is between "blocking" and "unfriending"! It was all too complicated for me, so I thought it best to get off the whole shebang for a while until I get further along with healing. xx, Rose

#4 Sep 12 - 7PM

rosedewittbukater

Dark Souls on Facebook

http://www.youtube.com/user/noordinarylife7#p/u/11/GAUn1yUkwuI Sarah's take on types of Facebook users, including the Narc...

#5 Sep 11 - 11PM

brinamarie

great topic!!!

facebook is the PERFECT source of NS, and hell for the girlfriend/wife. Actually the 21st century caters to narcissists! between texting, email & free porn!! Sooo easy to be sneaky. Apple even made a Tiger Woods App that stores all your txts from mistresses in a hidden folder, so your wife can't find them. Its a narcissistic world, & we're all just living in it!!

#6 Sep 11 - 6PM

KeshaN

My Narc used facebook as a

My Narc used facebook as a way to keep in touch with all of his other supplys...mostly ex's. He also used to talk bad about me and downplay our relationship. i used to go on his page and leave messages on his wall telling him that I loved him but he would just ignore it. But as soon as we had a fight he'd be on there running his mouth talking about me. My narc used facebook to humiliate me. We were married but i wasn't even friends with him but he was friends with every other girl. There were times we were friend on there but as soon as he was mad at me he would immediately delete me and block me. When I decided I was done with him he unblocked his facebook and also made his profile public. i always assumed he'd done this because he knew I would look at his page. Now I have blocked him. i try my hardest not to look at his page because he says things on there to get to me because he knows i will look at it.

#7 Sep 11 - 7PM (Reply to #28)

rosedewittbukater

FB to humiliate

Mine too. At first she used it to study me (so she could mirror me) and flirt with me, message me, etc. then after a minor disagreement she defriended me. Next the D&D...then she came back yet she still refused to "refriend" me. She bold face lied and said "I don't use FB that way and I am not friends with my GF (plural) on FB! We were in a relationship for two years and she never changed her status from single or acknowledged me in any way on FB. Yet a few weeks after I ended it she is flaunting the NS and had changed her profile picture to a picture of the two of them together. F***ing psycho Sorry this topic comes up often and always hits a nerve for me

#8 Sep 12 - 12AM (Reply to #29)

brinamarie

hits a nerve with me too!!!

hits a nerve with me too!!! im so cynical about it when i discuss it with other people -- who think i'm overly angry because they have NO idea how depressing/destructive fb was for me. similar sitch as you. so hurtful, ughhhh

#9 Sep 11 - 6PM

Kukla

FB and other Social Networks

Let's see... I deleted him and blocked him from FB - check! I removed him from Twitter and made my tweets private - check! I removed him from my friends friends only list on LiveJournal and now all he can do is stare at my pic but is unable to read my blog - check!!! Yeah just get rid of the mofo...no access all the way...

#10 Sep 11 - 3PM

sunkistbird

I deleted my FB account last

I deleted my FB account last year october. I didn't know the narc then. Good for me. FB just have too much personal infomation on it. I use to read my sons page and I would know when he and the gurlfriend were fighting.....lol I never want to attract a narc again. Hell, yall my eyes are so why open now

#11 Sep 11 - 1PM

Hunter

FB

He should be block from your account! Hunter

#12 Sep 11 - 1PM

voice of reason

I do

I do Whattoexpect and congrats on 50 days NC. My personal thoughts but I find FB can be an N magnet. A useful tool for dealing with your ex LOL, but I find if you aren't strategic in how you use it you get mired down with other Ns ;>. Of course if you are careful it can help you monitor other potential N involvement in your life. Everyone feels differently about FB and I have finally learned just to keep very general or humorous statuses and use it most for what I love best. Keeping up with family that I don't get to see very often. Good luck with your continued NC ;>

#13 Sep 11 - 1PM

rosedewittbukater

Fakebook

is evil. Deleted my account. Don't miss it. Why give the N the privilege of knowing anything about your life?

#14 Sep 11 - 1PM (Reply to #22)

Sunafterrain

Rose

I so agree with you. I disabled mine completely. BEST thing I ever did. EVER. I don't want that bastard to know ANYTHING about me. THAT would piss him off. He has been completely out of my life. I don't IM and don't keep those anymore either and only two emails addresses that I use, one for business and blogs the other for private emails. Sure has been peaceful. So he decides to call with an unavailable number. So what? I just don't answer. I'm not reacting to ANYTHING he might say or do. IGNORANCE IS TOTAL BLISS!

#15 Sep 11 - 1PM (Reply to #16)

needing2know

rosedewittbukater

why would you allow him to change everything in your life? haven't they done enough?

#16 Sep 11 - 7PM (Reply to #21)

Sunafterrain

It isn't about them

It's about us and our healing. Too many are tempted to look at their ex and/or their friends FB's. You can always go back when you're healing. Frankly, since I got off of FB, I realized how addicted to it I was and the checking on the ex or finding out about him was so triggering it wasn't worth it anymore, a major impediment to my healing.

#17 Sep 11 - 2PM (Reply to #20)

rosedewittbukater

change everything

In my case, I was not strong enough to resist "peeking". And I still am not. The damage this did to me was far greater than any benefit I had from interactions with others on FB, which personally I feel are pretty shallow. I do understand your point, and respect it, but in my situation it was the right choice. I was probably leaning towards turning it off anyway...was spending too much time on there. The little time I have on line I think is better spent here.

#18 Sep 11 - 1PM (Reply to #17)

strivingforhealing (not verified)

getting off FB is taking back our control and dignity.

not the other way around. I can assure you. Disappearing from his world feels so empowering. Going total NC- including FB is waaaaaay more powerful than peeking, looking at his site, the OW's, posting " I am so happy messages" to get at him. Just disappearing....the power in this has really helped me get my dignity back.

#19 Sep 11 - 1PM (Reply to #19)

Used

f/b

why should we get off f/b b/c of them...no way..my power is in the fact, both of them closed down their f/b when they knew i had joined...both set their privacy setting so you cant see a thing...when i joined....i on the other hand...have my f/b open...my photo on it...so who,s got the power....when i first went on f/b...narc left for 2mnths...then he came back photoless and wallless....lol

#20 Sep 11 - 1PM (Reply to #18)

rosedewittbukater

me too SFH

Just disappearing....the power in this has really helped me get my dignity back. Well said! I agree 100%

#21 Sep 11 - 12PM

Whattoexpect

not 50 days lol 60 lol

not 50 days lol 70 something lol

#22 Sep 11 - 1PM (Reply to #2)

Unfreakinreal

I purposely leave mine open

I purposely leave mine open for anyone to view and I am sure he checks it. We are not FB friends so I can't check his, nor do I have any desire to because I might feel sorry for him as he doesn't really have any friends that are the least bit interested in his life. Let him read mine all he wants, I have nothing to hide.

#23 Sep 11 - 1PM (Reply to #10)

needing2know

unfreakinreal

How are you doing my DLB buddy lmao! keeping up on NC???

#24 Sep 11 - 1PM (Reply to #11)

Unfreakinreal

Hey there my DLB friend N2K...

Shit no... :) Back on day one but feeling absolutely FABULOUS and ready to rock this thing. Had a huge moment of clarity yesterday, it's been 24 hours and I could give a hoot about what he is doing. The sun is shining, my beautful son is out playing with his friends and I feel a great change coming. I think I may have finally got it! :)

#25 Sep 11 - 1PM (Reply to #12)

needing2know

glad to hear my DLB buddy is

glad to hear my DLB buddy is doing good lol Clarity is always a good thing ya know! I'm still hanging in there with NC haven't heard a word from him , going on 7wks LOl My kids are keeping me busy, and the black cloud is gone, kids are actually back to being happy he is gone, thank God i never had kids with him! he is using his kids though , because when they are at their moms , he uses his older daughter to keep him company, one of my girlfriends seen him the other day (he never met her) she said he lost alot of weight and hasn't shaved, he is in his 50's and when men get older and lose weight they don't look so good . I think it makes them look older. But I am glad you are back to NC Keep it going,I will talk to you all night if I gotta !

#26 Sep 11 - 1PM (Reply to #13)

Unfreakinreal

7 weeks sounds like heaven...

Can't wait to get there. You are so positive - I love that about you! It is very motivating, you have no idea. xoxo

#27 Sep 11 - 1PM (Reply to #14)

needing2know

You will get there I have

You will get there I have faith in you!!!! i do have my days of being down, but I try to look more on the positive side, i refuse to let any man take away my ability to fall in love again, the one this my ex taught me is what the hell to look out for lmao! he did me a huge favor, when he D&dd me i told him thank you for breaking up with me and i also told him he taught me allot lol , just didn't tell him what he taught me lol

#28 Sep 11 - 1PM (Reply to #8)

needing2know

Maybe it will be good for

Maybe it will be good for them to snoop!Life does not revolve around them!

#29 Sep 11 - 1PM (Reply to #9)

Used

f/b

both my exnh and exn are private...except for friends...here,s a weird thing ,they both have the same amount.....myexh photo is up...exn nothing...but exn did originally have his photo up...and this is said with no malice....he looked terrible...he is around 18/19 stone..and tho he knew he had put on weight...i dont think he relised how huge he looked...he also looked pyscotic... quite frightening....lol

#30 Sep 11 - 1PM (Reply to #3)

Whattoexpect

Not friends with mine either,

Not friends with mine either, he never would add me, but the only thing you can see on his is pictures (which hasn't changes in years ) and he actually has lost friends on his list. I have read that some of these guys actually stalk you on there?

#31 Sep 11 - 1PM (Reply to #4)

Used

f/b

i should have added they both go on mine...exn was told someone that my fxxking b/f was on f/b...i havent got a b/f but i know who he means cos he always had a bad word to say about him...and exh does.....cos he too slag off someone i have on it....nice a!!!!!...

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