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Is there something wrong with me?

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#1 Sep 2 - 1AM
Miss_Jade
Miss_Jade's picture

Is there something wrong with me?

I feel nothing for my ex narc now. I hadnt really been feeling anything but sad towards the end with him, but the day after he left i cried once. And ever since i havent missed him at all. I even packed his shit for him because i knew if i didnt hed drag it out and make it even more miserable. Im glad hes gone and now, but i just feel angry or disgusted towards him when i think of him. Not ever sad unless i think about things i said to him in arguements we had. I feel like if he hadnt always been messing with my head that i would have never said mean things back to him though. So many women on here seem sad, and i wonder if my reaction is abnormal. I went through that stage while i was still with him i think. I actually still dont know what to think. Part of me thinks that it might have been this site that made it that way for me lol. 0_0 opinions?

Sep 2 - 12PM
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

I think what you’re feeling

I think what you’re feeling is totally normal. I never felt regret for leaving, or sadness in ‘missing’ him. The only sadness I have felt is for the time I wasted. However, having said that…was the time wasted? I learned a lot about where I needed to change, and about the unresolved issues I had from my childhood that led me to narc #3 (the most recent one). Anger. That has been a very strong emotion I’ve had, and namely because he is not a good human being, and yet he manages to fool people into thinking he’s something to behold. (although, some of our close friends are seeing his true colors and have told me as such, but I’ve since gone NC with them, too) I have gone NC with the narc ‘life’ I led.Not just with the ex n. I think that my anger has subsided IMMEASURABLY since ditching ‘’friends’’ who only wanted to stir drama between him and me. He’s dating someone now…and he is also very active on a dating website. Another sham of a relationship. I feel for this girl, and for that I’m angry. I’m angry that he is getting away with this, again. She sounds like a lovely woman, and she has a little boy. I cringe thinking of this asshole in that kid’s life, especially since he SUCKS as a dad, with his own kids. He’s never met two of them. So now he’s gonna play pretend daddy to a stranger’s kid? Just flares my anger, because I saw a picture ofthis girl, and she looks so sweet and kind. Yep, he found another one, I thought. How do these assholes end up finding such kind people to date? I could go on and on. But, anger has far outweighed any sadness I have felt. I think you’re just spent. Burnt out. Maybe our tear ducts have dried up. Lol I wish you well on your journey!
Sep 2 - 9AM
Layla
Layla's picture

There are different stages of grief we all must process.....

...and we can go "back and forth" between them as well. http://www.recover-from-grief.com/7-stages-of-grief.html It's a long road for most people and does not happen overnight to move through all the stages. I was with my abuser for 8 years. We have been No Contact now for 3 months this weekend. I had already begun working through the stages before I kicked him out, I had already begun to detach emotionally, I had to, if I was going to survive.
Sep 2 - 11AM (Reply to #4)
Miss_Jade
Miss_Jade's picture

I think thats what i had been

I think thats what i had been doing. I know what youre talking about, but theres still that small part of you that wanted to hope that hed change, and still that small part of you that wanted to help him and felt sorry for him. At least, thats why i ended up staying. 8 years is a long time. I was only with mine for 3 and i walked out feeling like an emotional zombie.
Sep 2 - 11AM (Reply to #3)
Miss_Jade
Miss_Jade's picture

I think thats what i had been

I think thats what i had been doing. I know what youre talking about, but theres still that small part of you that wanted to hope that hed change, and still that small part of you that wanted to help him and felt sorry for him. At least, thats why i ended up staying. 8 years is a long time. I was only with mine for 3 and i walked out feeling like an emotional zombie.
Sep 2 - 4AM
freaked
freaked's picture

This is a Magical and Sacred Space online

Miss Jade, You are absolutely CORRECT in thinking it is this Forum which made you strong. Yes of course...this forum is Magical. Every single person here ( including yourself and myself too) are a part of a Great Spell that dispels darkness and brings Light. Is it possible that J K Rowling was talking about various Narcissists in one's life...father, brother, husband... who constitute 'Dementors' ? The one and ONLY way i can express my gratitude to this beautiful sacred space online ...is by genuinely helping kindred souls with Understanding, Kind Words, and Genuine Support. Miss Jade, I am just so happy that you are able to be Happy once again. Amen.