Ow

I struggle with this one, too. My girls would not even use her name around me. I told them I was okay with it and that if there was a safety issue they should definitely tell me. Since this is so new, they probably need help processing what they are seeing. Maybe it would be better for them to talk to a counselor instead of telling you everything.

Heres the mantra with a narc "the best indcation of future behaviour is past behaviour" . You can bet your life savings on the FACT that he will treat her the same as he treated you , its just a matter of time . All he is doing is playing the honeymoon period game to get the OW nicely sucked in and then the mask will slip and she will end up on a messgae board like ours . There is never a happy ever after story with a psychopath never . And we did a poll a few months ago on here about how long did it take for the mask to begin to slip in the begining of the relationship and it was between 3 and 4 months so not long . When you realy get your head around the disorder and it is a mental illness you will see that they where born this way and they will die that way . Keep reading and keep NC and it will come clear , and believe it or not in time you will see yourself as lucky to have got out and you will feel sorry for the ow as she is just another victim .xx

the OW? Is it still the honeymoon stage? If so, this will not last. They are so evil. He's doing that act to hurt you through your child. Just what he's doing is extremely insensitive to your daughter. They are just twisted.

Trying to upset you through your kid. That’s about as low as it gets. I’m sorry you’re hurting. Good that you have a friend who’ll help you, now. Somehow, you’ll get to a point of indifference someday. Stay strong, and keep the faith. Trust in this…evil may seem like it’s rewarded in this life, but it’s not. You continue being the good person you are!

Jelickuk...I feel for you...I really do. When my mom and dad divorced, my dad used to do the same thing. Did all these great things for our step mom that he did not do for our mom. I will say this...appearances aren't always what they seem. A few years back, I went to my half brother's wedding (my dad and step mom were divorced by this time)...I got a chance to talk to her after the wedding. She revealed that he was horrible to her when we were not around. She only stayed with him because of her son and when he was old enough, she filed for divorce. I am not saying that will happen in your situation...but I think Ns try to appear to be so different in the next relationship in part to get back at the ex. It's a really, really sick thing and points to the disorder of these men..it truly is all a game with them and they have to win. I remember feelng so stuck in the middle of my parents...my mom was always sad, my dad seemed always happy. The good news is that my mom remarried a great guy who is definately not a Narc. My dad has also remarried and I think he is now too old to be up to much of his old behaviors. But I find it interesting that our new step mom's ex was a Narc as well....go figure. I do think it is best to speak to your daughter about not sharing about his new OW. It's only going to stir up resentful feelings in you and make the situation much harder than it needs to be. I wish you all the best.