I'm upset about something...

Hi Deidre My humble opinion on this is that God molds and teaches us all on a very individual level. The trials and heartaches I must go through to learn and grow are completely different from anyone elses. Although I pray for the women that my N is now involved with, there is no way for me to know what God is teaching them through this difficulty they are surely going through. I do not believe the N is getting away with any of it. I believe he will have to provide an account for every tear he has caused ten fold. There will be no mercy for the purposful evil he has inflicted. Will I see the judgement take place? Maybe, maybe not. I used to pray I would see that judgement take place, but as I get further along in recovery it is becoming enough that I know in my heart justice will be done. That's just my faith and what I believe. I believe my job is to move forward, take what I have learned and be the best I can be everyday. I leave the rest to God. Hope this helps.

God is Love not hate. Why? there are a lot of Whys? Why did she get Cancer, Why did that Earthquake strike?? WHY?WHY?WHY?? God gave us Life and with that comes Challanges for a better you. HE is there for guidence, that guidence gives you strength. Why was EVE dangled the forbidden fruit?? So many questions ?? :) Its up to us the individual to do right !! They are evil and God will deal with eavil in his own time. Hunter

Deirdre, BadaBing just called it 'a master plan' for her life, and I feel the same. I believe that we have to go through certain experiences so we can grow to become closer to our souls/ our spirits being 'whole' again. For me it is a process of constant learning, education, and personal development. While some people tend to get help through their belief in a single deity, I have come to the conclusion for myself over the past few years that all man-made religious institutions (churches, if you will) have something cultish in the end. While baptised Lutheran, I did not grow up close to religion. Nonetheless, psalm 23 kept coming across my way throughout life frequently, and I am now leaving the valley of darkness. I consider myself having grown very spiritual over the past years, but more in a 'New Age' way. And I believe that Go(o)d is inside each of us and thus with us all the time. And once we find Go(o)d, we can change our own lives. But no other ones. While some Ns may practice/act a religion, I believe they really have no Go(o)d - sadly all they have left is evil. Guess that's why they cannot really be stopped. It is when we have no true contact to our innermost and Go(o)d, (aka internal locus of control) that we end up being easily susceptible to abuse and addiction. And we have to accept that we cannot rescue any other soul, we have to let go, and they have to find out for themselves and do it in their own way and in their own time. Those 'friends' who keep you connected to N seem to realize something, but they are not there yet, not cutting him off. So you have to do the cutting to protect yourself. My best for you!

I don't know the answer to that. All I can say is that we have a free will, the narc choice do what he does. The person getting involved with them choice to do what they want. For whatever reason each of us on this forum got involved with a bad person, maybe from insecurities or whatever we experienced in our background made us feel comfortable with the narc. Who knows. Don't waste your time trying to figure it out. You really need to consider cutting off communication with these "friends" or at least tell them not to share information about your ex with you. You need to follow NC to the T! What does NO CONTACT mean? It means: 1. NO DIRECT, or active, communication with the narc/psychopath: be it in the form of emails, letters, phone calls, texting, Facebook posts, or seeing him in person. 2. It also means NO INDIRECT, or passive, communication either: don’t read his emails, don’t look at his Facebook, don’t read his texts, don’t seek or listen to information about him through any intermediaries, don’t google him to find out what he’s up to lately. Any contact direct or indirect will only prolong your healing. Remember, he is like the Terminator in the old Arnold Schwarzenegger movie: "Listen! And understand! That terminator is out there. It can't be bargained with! It can't be reasoned with! It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead!"....Kyle Reese, The Terminator, 1984 Joy2me

I honestly think people who don't have an easier time on earth! They don't have to think about these big questions that those of us who do believe struggle with. The Narc I was involved with was an atheist and proud of it and that makes sense now because he didn't have to feel like he was answerable to a higher power. I coming to believe that God has no power over any of these evil acts at all. But he is a loving caring God nonetheless. One day it will ( hopefully) all become clear...that's what I'm counting on anyway!

Who can answer this? Who here can answer this mystery? I believe none of us can- for as long as man/woman has walked the earth, there has been evil and there has been suffering. Also, because of all of our varying spiritual beliefs on this amazing site, the question can easily become an argument on religious beliefs. I myself am a catholic. I know what I "believe" to be as "sort of an answer" to this question, but out of respect for the spirit of the forum, I won't share that part. I will like to say, however, and I say this because you mentioned God so therefore I take from that you are not an atheist, God can draw good from ALL evil in all of it's forms, NOTHING is impossible for God. While people will talk about "free will" this, and "free will" that as the answer to your question, that doesn't look at the "big picture" which God sees and is all knowing about. You can't stop what the abuser will go off and do and we already know we can't "save" these individuals, but what you take from and do with your OWN experience with him is what is going to matter most for you and your future. Lisa has taken her experience and wrote books, and started this site. She has raised awareness and created a safe place for other victim/survivors to share, and to heal. She took evil, and made GOOD out of it. This is just an example (and a very good one)......... Sorry for the ramble, I haven't finished my coffee yet.....haha! Enjoy the day! It's beautiful here in Chicago! We do not get too many "nice" summer days here! love~ Layla