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Time is marching on

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#1 Aug 9 - 3PM
Anonymous (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Time is marching on

Time is marching on and I keep seeing the exn at work.

I have gotten to the point where I usually say something to him, but nothing that would remotely indicate any interest in him.

This is just the oddest situation to be in.

Who has a relationship with someone for 12 years then has an asshole n that blows them away
and then without skipping a beat I have to see him and act like nothing happened?

This just really seems unhealthy.

I even get the feeling the n thinks I'm crazy because I haven't said a thing about it.

He will look at me when I am at a distance but when I start talking he makes a point of not looking at me and appears uninterested. There is always another guy with him so he always talks to me.

I guess I just keep on doing the same thing and there is no closure by either of us?

This is really strange.

Is there anything else I should do?

Aug 9 - 7PM
strivingforhealing (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

YOU are a rock star Ruby!

I just love love love your strength- to not say a thing to this N while you may be affected inside..you are a true warrior woman- and you will be richly rewarded with HEALING . True Deep Profound healing of your heart and psyche. I just think you deserve to do something very very nice for yourself.. a good dinner, a mini vacation, a massage.. you are doing so much good for your heart! Blessings!
Aug 9 - 5PM
strongblackcoffee
strongblackcoffee's picture

Ruby01

OMG you are a rock star! Just to go to work every day around him for goodness sake you deserve a survivor medal! You are giving yourself closure by not bringing it up; won't do a dang thing if you did anyway. Get through it and live your life. Don't talk to him unless you absolutely have to. You may have to physically be around him, but that doesn't mean he gets the benefit of YOU, not even small talk. Find a counselor to work out the issues, don't work them out through him ! Peace! Coffee
Aug 9 - 4PM
Journey
Journey's picture

Short of finding new

Short of finding new employment to get further away from him, there isn't a heck of a lot more you can do. It sounds like you are doing well in YOUR healing and that is what matters. It is unfortunate, but having closure is another thing we must do for ourselves. In the same way they couldn't give to our needs while with them, they can't after the D&D either. It seems to be that for a narc, giving in to the needs of anyone else is only something they will do during a hoover when they want something in return or to control another by tossing occasional crumbs to pacify discontent if they still need/want your supply. ((hugs))

Journey on...

Aug 9 - 5PM (Reply to #4)
ruby01 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Journey

I have 2 more years left on this delivery route and then I can bid on another area. I realize that he will never provide closure. What is hard for me is that I am unable to either, because any remark I would make about what he did would just open the flood gates for him to make me feel like crap. I just feel foolish never being able to mention it. Like the elephant in the room.
Aug 9 - 3PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Oh they make you crazy all

Oh they make you crazy all right!! I think you are doing a great job! Keep up the good work! Hunter
Aug 9 - 5PM (Reply to #2)
ruby01 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Thanks, Hunter

I have my days!