An important consideration

I was having a think about this about an hour ago. I started thinking that if a narc lacks emotions, then maybe he would want to seek out those who are more emotionally available and try to suck the emotions out of them (I guess this is where the phrase "emotional vampire" comes from). So they would start with positive emotions, maximized by being your "soulmate" and then when it inevitably falls apart because it's based on lies, they settle for the negative emotions, which they then can't let go of - hence the hoovering etc. So I guess if he wanted a sexual relationship that wasn't threatened by all that, and the damage he would do to it emotionally, then maybe he would want to keep it all separate.

The exN had a "girlfriend" that he's strung along for 15 years as back up. She's a nurse, from a culture that is subserviant to white males and he knows she'll never leave. He's absolutely terrified of losing her because she'll get good retirement benefits in 10 years. He has put her in a "sister-relative" box and actually treats her better than the other women. (Except that he's cheated on her 7 times that I know of) He uses the other women for sex and to use as a whipping post to express his rage so she won't find out the true him. (He's 50 and never lived with any woman.) If they do have any emotional bond, it's to the Madonna, but it's based on need and fear of being alone. I think it's the closest they get to actually feeling anything. So they don't ever feel real love or caring towards the madonna or the whore. They just put them in separate boxes according to use.

I have come to think that a Narc's relationship with ANYBODY cannot be emotional. I believe they are always motivated by the "whats in it for me" mentality". If there is ANY emotion with anyone its just a small amount to make them appear as if they are kind....not heartless. Just my opinion.

Sex is just a release for them, like you are a masturbation blow up doll so to speak, the only emotions my narc showed me in all the years were anger, rage, jealousy, paranoia, all the negative ones in the book, never any normal ones ,of joy, happiness, contentment, etc.It is all anger that should be directed at mother, but instead he takes it out on US.He is not aware of this though.It makes perfect sense, his book saved me at the very beginning of the dumping.

he Appears to be very Emotional when he is chatting/messaging his gf he NEVER romanced me. we got married years back..just after his former gf had dumped him. awww.. yes..i live in a socially backward country. here women are more often than not treated like dirt...especially someone like me..who doesnt have a job or money or social status. ( yeah..social status come WHEN one has a job..money...OR a faithful husband). I have none of those three. He was emotional about GF#2 like nobody's business...but GF#3 did not last long. This newest..GF#4 ..he seems to be besotten with and has even proposed Marriage to her without even having told me he wants a divorce. Of course he is perhaps a bigamist. he has foul mouthed about me to OW..like you will never even imagine. OW has never cared to contact me for verifications. I have Snooped.. for my personal safety and information

It is never emotional with narcs. They lack emotion.........period. Any emotion they do show, is an act.