I miss him

Oh, you can do it, you can do it, you can do it!! You`ve come so far..even after being intimate with those damn Ns, you know what`s their opinion then, that they OWN you completely. And YOU walked away, yes you! You should feel proud of yourself, it`s only normal to miss the clown after seeing him. I remember two years ago on my birthday, I met by accident with him, in the same place, at the same concert. And I had that look, as if I saw a long lost estranged child, just said hello, and walked away quick..it was strange. The second day, immeadiately after I was on messenger, he pups up, with a love song, very desperate ( and so beautiful by the way ) (!!!) with status "where are youuuu, I`ve been looking for you forever". I broke down of course, it was too much of a beautiful song, for a heartless like him. That coming after a strong D&D, when he made out with one of my "best friends" then..I fell so hard then, I wanted to die, long awful story :( BUT, as a so called empath and foolish donkey as I was then, I answered after some days, with another beautiful love song. And after some time, I see a status like "YEAH, it`s a LOVE story =))))))" .I was like...yeah. Narced again. I was still believing then he could change. So please be proud of yourself. It`s natural and normal for a HUMAN being, to have feelings of grief, of loss..Ns are NOT, I repeat, NOT HUMAN! They don`t have hearts, don`t have emotions..they are just phonies, with no identity. Don`t call him, or do anything..choose yourself tonight.

are you sure you miss him? look at it closely...very closely. if you miss the excitement and drama- find it somewhere else- safer and less toxic...I too like excitement and highs..so I am going to take up skydiving again...I'd rather jump out of plane at 15,000 feet that fallout his car, drunk and devastated, crying on my hands and knees and watch him just drive away...( this happened 6 years ago and the trauma stays with me) I choose a beige life over a life with red splattered blood from my heart and soul. and I also know- that bright colors will come my way, into my life, when I fully heal this wound that brought the N to me in the first place. stay strong sweetie. NC all the way- so that you can experience the boldness of a brand new exciting you!

I dread what you have gone through with seeing your N. My heart goes out to you. I would hope that I could react as good as you when the time comes. I wonder how I will act if he texts me or calls....but actually seeing him...OMG I will need STRENGTH. And as with you, I know it will affect me. But hopefully I will go to what seems to be working now which is NC, and not going back and thinking about his charming words/ways, and believing/saying to myself "I am thankful and grateful to have a HAPPY life without him" amen!!!

It's just a trigger, you did great! He's an assclown, Hunter

Of course you miss him.........that's what makes you a compassionate human being after all. What you are missing though is the illusion of the man he presented to you. You have to always do a "checks and balances" type routine when you are experiencing those feelings, to bring you back to reality. Seriously? You miss a man who greets you with "Hey, stuck up"? THAT is your reality, keep that in your perspective at all times. A decent, loving, caring man who misses you......would have said a thousand other things then what your N said to you. That was honestly the best he could come up with? Makes it pretty easy to drive away from and continue driving, don't you think? It's hard, I know........but just rememember what you are really missing.......it's not real. Smile

If you haven't already done so, write a list out of every insult or verbal offense this jackwipe ever told you, every lie you caught him in, everything this prince charming has done to you.............go back and read it every single time you think you "miss him"....you miss someone who never even existed.....that was a mask he was wearing....always remember that.

dabussard, you seeing him triggered your emotions, that's normal . . . now it is up to you say, okay, I know what I am feeling but more importantly, these are the reasons why I am NC with him . . . . Stay strong! Acknowledge (in your mind) that you saw him, that you felt emotions, that it is over and yours was a toxic relationship and keep yourself busy with thoughts of you, not him. Hugs and Love, Nan