Achieving Indifference

I just had a small triggering event seeing xnh, and I was just curious how long (if ever) it was before some you here achieved indifference toward the narc. I was with him for 16 years, and I'm 14 months NC. I realize that this is different for everyone (and I'm guessing to varying degrees as well). If you feel indifference toward your narc, what are some of the things that helped you get there?

Before lunch, I had to go back to my old work area to ask my boss a work related question. His office is located in the area that I was moved away from because of xnh's harassment towards me after the D&D. My boss's office also is right next door to the office of a "mutual friend" that I am NC with as well, because he would NOT stop talking to me about xnh and xnh's hideous P daughter. As I walked into my boss's office doorway, xnh came out of the mutual friend's closed office door right into me. I'm sure xnh and the mutual friend were having some "secret conclave" about xnh's perpetual drama behind his closed door. I really DON'T either want to know nor do I care. Whatever. I was just annoyed to have xnh pop out at that exact moment. I ignored xnh completely, and had my discussion with my boss after he went down the hall.

After the work discussion, I asked my boss if he had any lunch plans (because we've also been friends for 20 years now), and we wandered to the opposite end of the building to ask my best friend if she'd like go somewhere as well. However, as we approached her area we could see that she was not there. Instead she was in the break room on that end of the building (I could hear her voice), and as I approached the break room xnh (once again) popped out of the doorway. S-U-R-P-R-I-S-E!!! Bear in mind, this break room is on opposite end of the building from xnh's work area, he knew I was on the floor (because he'd just seen me with my boss), he knew that I was likely to see my friend on the opposite end of the building, and it was a solid half hour before lunch. No. I do NOT think it was any "accident" that xnh was in that break room with my friend. Once again I completely ignored xnh, and my friend came out of that break room about as fast as a rat out of an aqueduct. She detests xnh and he had trapped her in there unexpectedly. She said he had walked in there right after she did. She merely wanted a napkin. I'm sure xnh saw her cross the hall and followed (probably with the hopes of stirring up stress when I came to see her).

Nothing really happened except that I'm sure xnh was playing infantile games, and seeing him triggered me. He didn't get the satisfaction of knowing this, but it did trigger me inside. I obviously haven't achieved indifference yet. Each time I saw xnh, I felt like punching him in the face, and I was kind of hoping that I'd get the opportunity to watch his head burst into flames (hopefully causing xnh great pain). Somehow I don't think this is very indifferent. lol. However, that is where I'd like to get emotionally with xnh (and where I think he deserves to be to me - nothing). Quite frankly, he's not worth the sweat off my butt...much less a single thought in my head.

So does anyone have any ideas, suggestions, or stories about achieving the goal of indifference concerning the narc. Right now, I hate him. I'm NOT indifferent.