any advice welcome
any advice welcome
This started a little over a year ago. The Narc (we'll call him Andy) started heavy flirtation with me via a back rub. After a few months, in which he did other inappropriate things like showing me a dirty picture, giving me a ride in his car. . .and lots of seductive behavior. . .I developed feelings for him. So I told him one night at dinner (I asked him, he agreed). He downplayed everything then went to his supervisor the next day and said I was bothering him. Turns out someone else had complained to mgmt. about "inappropriate touching" on his part already. Needless to say, he said nothing to me, continued to act like a friend, and then about a week later both he and his boss called me to a meeting where he said he "just wanted a professional relationship" and he'd "tried to" tell me that. I was humiliated but did nothing, thinking that perhaps I had somehow "scared" him (ha!) plus I did not want to get him fired over something which I viewed as petty. Gosh, I'm nice. This dude is a doctor and a lawyer (but I scared him. . .yeah, right).
I now know the following:
--Andy routinely flirts, including inappropriate behavior, usually with totally inappropriate women (gay or married). He gave plenty of back rubs.
--my situation with him was not handled correctly - he should have said something directly to me about feeling uncomfortable or, if he felt unable to, had his supervisor talk to me - but NOT both of them at once
--his supervisor recently apologized to me about how it was handled
--Their boss "Earl" received multiple complaints from female staff about sexual harassment by another doctor we work(ed) with, and the boss called the doctor into his office and said, "now I know you didn't do anything wrong, but there's been some complaints - and I know you didn't bother one of these women because she's an ugly dog."
--as a result of the above conversation, the doctor who was sexually harassing women was fired, because he did not stop harassing women and the doctor's supervisor eventually went over Earl's head to his (female) boss who had the doctor fired
--Earl recently told another doctor (and a colleague of mine) during a closed-door meeting that he should be careful because his job is not protected I am "not his friend" (the meeting had nothing to do with the topic of sexual harassment or with me)
so, although nothing is written record (that I know of - I am too intimidated by these bozos to ask to see my employee record), this guy Earl seems to think us gals are only out to take advantage of these poor men (doctors).
Should I ask to see my employee file? Should I ask my supervisor (who I trust) to get the file for me so as not to set off any alarms?
Oh, and during my "sexually harassment" of Andy (ha! double ha!!), I told my supervisor one day that he'd shown me a really inappropriate picture and he (my supervisor) said, "oh that's dr jones!" and rolled his eyes.
Can you say "poor management???!!"
Sounds like control
This man, Andy, is an animal.