I think for me, I miss escaping from childhood wounds ...by numbing the pain with a man's ''love.'' I've come to realize, I was not in a healthy state of mind to form a healthy relationship, myself. So...no wonder I gravitated towards a very unhealthy minded person.
I no longer want to 'medicate' myself with a relationship. A fake relationship, where a man abuses me...just so I can pretend I have love in my life.
So...some days, I miss not 'running' away from all that to a man. But, the good news is...I'm finally healing from my childhood. If I stayed with this last guy? OMG. I think I would have been in really bad shape...and definitely wouldn't be on the road to recovery from my past.
I don't miss the ''good'' guy he was...because I know that was just a means to an end.
Good topic, Hunter!
Being that my narc is not that goodlooking he makes up for it with his charms. He is alot of fun in the beginning. And he likes to go places and pretend like he is going to be a man and pay everytime. But after you get in a relationship all that changes like immediately.
You can search the site for specific words using google. For example, I can find all of my comments by googling "mindy site:lisaescott.com" (without the quotes).
Hope this helps!
I miss him being irrational and unable to speak to because he was nuts and never ever wrong. I miss how I could do nothing but be with him and devote my everything to him and get nothing in return. No emotion or feelings or any attention. I miss how he lived on his iPhone chatting with god knows who but not me who was right next to him. I miss feeling lonely being right next to him. I miss not being able to tell him anything I thought or felt for fear he would go into a tirade and break up with me. I miss catching him on dating sites and him telling me it must be old and I'm just so insecure. I miss him talking to other women about problems but not me whom he was supposedly in love with. I miss him dictating everything we did and never asking me what I wanted to do. I miss him never smiling or laughing or having any real fun. He was always serious. I miss that he was the cheapest person I ever met and made enough to treat something once in a while. He is a scientist. I miss him saying he's not my puppet and I can't always have my way. I miss him calling me a child and insecure every chance he got. I miss him making me feel ugly and never ever saying a nice thing if I dressed up for him but he would gawk other women. I miss how he would always say how secure and confident he was but if I dared go do anything without him he would go nuts. God I miss that assclown! NOT!
My Therapist asked me tell me What do you love about him? I sat there for a moment and said "He's hot" thats all I could come up with.
but if I really think about it. I miss his child likeness from time to time sometimes he reminded me of a sweet little boy. Sometimes he could be terribly romantic. He has a very sexy cute southern accent but mostly I miss the way he touched me there was a sweetness and gentleness about it.
I miss some happy memories where we would giggle and laugh. We did have some happy times. I miss the innocence we both had all those years ago.
I think if he could have, he would have loved me but he cant and that just that He cant.
I miss the child like play, laughter, affection, gentleness, sex and ironically, feeling safe.
We were very very close after 10 plus years and liked to be quietly together - but now I realize I was being quietly kept as favorite toy that was tossed and not needed in new city.
There was never a solid adult mature relationship - so I cannot say I miss my "partner" - he was never capable of much more than being a romantic, playful friend. He did cook alot and kind of nurture me too...we had a weird relationship. I miss it less and less as I see his true nature unfold and his quest to rebuild his image...
Let's see:
The lies, the gut feelings that there really is something wrong with this man, you know the scratch you head, kind of feeling. The rage, the lazy ass. The empty stare, the empty look in the eye, like no one was in there.
The fear that you were wrong, you know that feeling that you did something wrong. The feeling in the pit of your stomach, that was fear and you did not know it.
Losing yourself, slowly but surely and not even knowing it. All the positive feelings about life slowly going out of your life.
Thank you so much! I'm feeling down today and broke down and cried. I heard a country song he sang before, after I got back from the dentist. He used to call himself a cowboy. Yesterday, I had a bad toothache. I needed a crown and may need a root canal! It cost a pretty penny. I don't know if it was stress that I cried or the song, but after reading this I felt better. I will read it again. Gratefuljen, I never thought about that pit in my stomach being fear. I was afraid. At times I felt klutzy even, and that isn't like me, but I was nervous sometimes. Other times, I felt like a deer in the headlights, so stunned I would not know what to say. These are things, no one could miss. Listening to the song, I was imagining the nice guy. The song talks about a guy who will always cherish the time they had together and loving her. Sadly that would not be him. I have to think about the real him and not the romantic, singing cowboy.
Hunter,
When I look at how he treated his wife I KNOW that I am so lucky that I didn't get more involved or fall deeper for him! I can't understand why she stayed with him after she found him cheating on her..it really took 4 women for her to finally leave? There is just no denying the harsh reality the wives have with these fucktards! :)
I am not missing anything,and if I was...I won't bother listing it for fear of a trigger!
Fucktard! That is what my friends and I call mine as it's a slight variation on his real name. Although it recently evolved into FuckTURD! Because that's all he is - a TURD!
That would be nice to be able to go back and easily find the thread without having to wade through so many others. Other than that, it might be a good idea to include url on it.
In answer to what do I miss about the narc. That's easy, the Pretend/Fantasy Guy I thought he was. In fact that's all he was, a Pretend/Fantasy Guy.
I miss nothing about it. He was unemotionally available, so into himself and his needs. I don't miss the resentment I felt being married and being a single mom at the same time-doing the laundry-cleaning the house-grocery shopping-snaking the main drain pipe under the house with my 12 yr old son-mowing the lawn and on and on and on. Nope, absolutely nothing. I don't miss feeling lonely and being married. I don't miss driving the shit car with two babies in the back while he drove the nice car. I don't miss those silent treatments and "what did he just say" moments. I just miss the years I wasted, but I am not gonna dwell on that either. Took me a while, but I got here:)
Not the soup?
LOL!!
Ally2375....Oh shit!....I forget the soup!
Hunter
I've got to admit...
Searching the site
I miss him being irrational
Happy your post resonated
My Therapist asked me tell me
Me too
Let's see: The lies, the gut
Gratefuljen and Hunter
Hmmmm, let me think..........
Not a DAMN THING
momoya
Ha, ha, ha...... I have to laugh at that!
FYI hunter
This site needs a search engine
I agree. I wrote about my
I miss the long cuddles and
I miss nothing about it. He