Question

I'm jealous! Mine is due back from his vacay (although he told me he was knight in shining armor going to help his sister) actual trip with his ex, tomorrow. I'm dreading it. The last seven days have given me 7 days NC! I spent a lot of time reading and educating myself. I also journaled and changed my door locks. I sent him the "I'm done with you text" as they boarded the plane and immediately blocked his digits. He is coming back but not to what he left. I frankly hope I never hear from the bum again. Enjoy and work on yourself! C

Like others have pointed out, they do like to keep doors open to be able to cycle back around, but in my case he hasn't yet. So, I would say no, they don't ALWAYS come back. I think the reasons mine hasn't is because he can always find new supply (at least it would seem), and he cares too much about other peoples opinion of him. He knows his attitude and behavior is in question and looked down upon by some because of what happened and the way he left. I think that is mostly what keeps him away. I also just don't think he sees me of use to him on an intimate or personal/social level anymore. That used to break my heart to feel so discarded, now I just hope he continues to stay away so I can keep moving forward in my healing without him doing any more damage. Maybe try not to worry about what your reaction might be at this point. If he does come back, your feelings will not necessarily be what they are right now and it is more important to live your days while he is gone in the present, feeling your freedom and building your strength to continue caring for yourself in all this first.

in the past few weeks of seeing my N at work that if I treat him as I treat everyone else, any attempt they make to get you to hang yourself is fruitless. But you can't ignore, or treat them any differently. At first I was so upset I pretty much hid from him until I could get my wits together. However, by doing so it was still supply because I was still showing {by the lack of) feelings for him that were in a way special. All mine does is try to lead me into a trap with very little effort on his part. Something he has done in the past that paid off for him. For instance when I walk up he will simply say, "What?" I got nothing. or, He will make a face and say nothing and think I will start talking about what the heck happened between us just to break the silence. I don't know if this is making any sense to you, but what I am suggesting is that it takes your involvement to make anything truly ever happen again between the two of you. He may try to lead you on but if you don't take the bait It's a dead end.

They do cycle! So be aware, I havnt heard a peep from mine since I called him out about three months ago! I could care less one way or another . I'm among the living not the living dead! Thanks but no thanks, keep you attitude in check! Hunter

First of all, I love your name for him....f***nut. Second of all, YAY to being free for 15 days. (insert happy dance) As far as if he tries to come back, you do not have to keep a grip on yourself (the body will respond as it responds), all you have to do is not respond (no easy task, I realize). Start to trust yourself and you'll be ready. I have wondered the same thing along the way. If he tried to sweet talk me back into his good graces, could I resist? I'm so glad you have 15 days with him gone. Keep read read reading about NPD and also remember the shit that he put you through. I can't find your story (is it posted?), but I'm making an educated guess that he's put you through some sort of hell. No, they do not always come back. They are so predictable and have so much in common with one another, yet there is variance in how things play out for each one. If he needs more supply, he will find it. Either way, not your problem, right? Be strong and work your tail off these next two weeks to focus on yourself and getting back to the land of the living. Keep us updated. Peace, Adoette