My problem

After the final D&D, after meeting the ex-Psych prof's girlfriend (now his wife of a decade), I wished him HAPPINESS with her. I said, "Better to be happy with her than unhappy with me." I gave the whole "we're incompatible" talk. Very non-judgmental. Then I got Narc rage, being accused of violating his personal boundaries&imposing on him. How many engaged men fly into rages when congratulated on their engagement? And he wasn't even wearing a ring. Well, since he's STILL with her, it gives me that sense of "I told you so." Because superiority&being right are FUN!

Here's the truth: They repeat the same behavior OVER and OVER and OVER again. Their 'happiness' is contingent upon the quality of current supply, which inevitably wans because they wear down their victim. The OW becomes a victim, trust me on this because I was an OW and then the primary source and then D & D. Here's a thought: Instead of even remotely picturing them "happy" with someone else, why not picture yourself totally happy with someone else or without the drama of the disordered one. Once I started shifting the focus like this, great things began coming into my life. It was as if by sweeping out thoughts of him and whatever the F he was doing with whoever made room for the good things. I have met some very interesting men who are not disordered, who are funny, fun to be with, HOT, and gentlemen. This is the truth. Once I quit dwelling on the disordered one by shifting the focus every time a thought came up, it's as if I changed wavelengths and people began to respond! What you focus on becomes your reality. I think we've all had enough of reality (and it's brutal) in the disordered one's life. I'm so glad I'm out and wouldn't go back for a million bucks (and I'm broke and could really use the money!!) The reality is they can never be happy because they're too busy filling the empty black hole. On the other hand, we can be joyful and open to all the great things life brings to our plate. Hugs to you and good vibes for continued clarity, strength and joy from, (not) spinning. NEVER EVER AGAIN. I REJECT ALL CHAOS AND DESTRUCTION. I REJECT ALL REJECTS!!

I've thought the same thing! Then I sometimes hope he is happy. His life is so screwed up! Anyone that would do the things he's done. For me it's like watching a movie. I see that I was the only one buying into his 'act'. His house of cards is falling. He's lost everything that should be important to someone: a loving, beautiful wife (me) and children. I hope he gets back together with this sick woman. Then he will leave us alone. She is much older and unable to have children (thank God!) She has money and has been his supply for a long time. If I were to talk to her I'd say: I hope you two are happy, I support you two together. But I won't talk to her. I did talk to her once and she was so mean and hateful to me. I'm sitting there with a 4 month old baby and she believes that I'm the bad person when their whole relationship was a secret from me. As far as I'm concerned: THEY DESERVE EACH OTHER. And if she's the one that can keep him away from me, well, I'll thank her!! Sorry to go on about all my stuff! You're post really had me look at myself and situation! Thank you!