Hangman11's Story

Hello All-
I picked Hangman11 because YES!!! Sometimes I just want to hang this guy okay...but I chose to leave the (apartment) instead.
My story is lengthy but to capsulize, I met this man online at (eharmony) a site that is "supposed" to be legit in screening. Four months into the relationship (after he had flown to my city to visit, I flew to see him and he presented me with an engagement ring. Well at 48 yrs of age, how excited was I, never married and mother of a teenager I accepted and started plannng. I found out right after geting the ring that he in fact was still married and in the "process" of getting a divorce. That took a year and I hung in there. We married in late 2007 and here we are getting divorce late 2009. The relationship has been rocky ever since our wedding night and I just can't make any sense of it. He wanted me to get rid of my best girlfriend because she "was a bad influence" on me, started making snide remarks about my elderly parent(dad) who he now has "no more respect for" and I either didn't cook enough or listen enough or watch enough movies or something....supposedly this guy was a Minister once upon a time when his ex-w and he were together but of course...she was HORRIBLE to him..let him tell it, but was married to her for a total of 20yrs...oh did I mention after extensive reading of your site posts I now know my mother(deceased) was a Narcissist..I have filed for divorce but I still have all these feelings and the NO Contact thing hasn't kicked all the way in yet..I have to see him in court in another week...my emotions and mind are all over the place, did I mention he is a diabetic, won't take care of himself and said to me last thanksgiving day that I am a "Cancerous Intrusion In His Life"...then turns around the other day texting me I LOVE and Miss you...I NEED Y'ALL to help me make it through this one...sorry for the lengthy expose..