Freedom2BeMe's story

I entered my relationship with my N a relatively happy and strong woman.. after only 8 months I was pretty much brainwashed by him successfully to feel shame at myself. He had been so subtley corrosive and it was just getting worse until he D & D me.

I had no sense of my own worth left.. and had been projected into successfully... with all his negative disowned aspects I now realise.. brainwashed to feel shameful and worthless..

I heard recently to think about their criticisms and insults as it is actually a brilliant insight into their own internal world.. to find out how THEY tick...

I managed never to get hoovered back in but 6 months on I am still running over it in my head.. and crying a lot. He fed me so many lies and empty promises... I had no reason to doubt that I was his future and the mother of his children etc etc etc.... until he started to look at me with such hatred and for no apparent reason.. devaluation underway....

After occupying the pathological space with him I think I had PTSD

Anyway I now see he is an abuser out right... I went to Therapy and told of the emotional abuse that has insidiously crept in behind his false self and had slowly taken over.... My therapist used the words 'Domestic Violence' so I know I am blessed to be free of this NPD.

I tried to get closure and he was not available for it at the time.. so I cut him off and asked him not to contact me.. he has tried several times.. but I have managed to totally ignore him.

I think I was too hurt to go there...

Anyway now I am free.... I intend to stay N/C forever...

On my 40th birthday he texted me and said 'Happy Birthday. I hope this does not spoil your day. Thinking of you'... still a megalomaniac then.... and happy to potentially spoil my day... nice.

Doll