ENOUGH !! it's off!

14 posts / 0 new

#1 Jul 19 - 5PM

BadaBing

ENOUGH !! it's off!

I don't want to be me right now!

You know what I really hoped could of happened was that I could break up with him 'gently' and we could 'share' and 'understand' each other! oh, how I have tried all my best for him to just have that one thing happen (call it whatever you want)!

In order to get him to this therapy tomorrow I had to:

a start texting with him

how did that start? he somehow convinces me to do things without directly asking for them so he is able to indirectly manipulate me to communicate with him to get him there

but no that wasn't even enough

in the span of one day -one day! he went from texting then telling me he was coming over that he wanted to talk and see me ...oh and he wants to have sex too!

????

and I 'should' want to have sex too if I am not sleeping with someone? then he had the ultimate temper tantrum!

have SEX with me OR I won't go to the therapy session, if you have sex with me I will see that we are working toward OUR relationship, if you don't - then this a waste of my time"

How far was I going to go to get this last meeting? I actually imagined it

I am so angry right now !

he has been twisting me & manipulating me in any angle he can try to keep me involved with him! I show him kindness and he exploits it! I give him an inch and he take 10 miles! I show him compassion and care and he puts bruises on me!

No matter what I do with a good heart , it doesn't help or work!
this really was my last idea!

I have good intentions that I thought would benefit us both in 2 days time he pushed me to the point to letting down all my boundaries and talked to him more than I have in month via text.

He has been messing with me the whole time, and you were all right that he never intended to go...he was just going to see how far he could take it to his advantage and he tried to get me to prove my intention by asking I sleep with him?!

I am so tired I have been trying and trying to do something that is useless and total waste I just want to crumple up on the floor and cry because I have no more in me

he is so mean to me so disrespectful and treats me like I don't even matter that I have to constantly prove to him that he has noting to risk , and then he asks for all of me just to go to a therapist? he manipulates even that!

and the whole damn time I am just trying to break up with him, leave him and he wraps me up even more !!

It's off it's all off I am done it's over

NC harsh reality will smack him now

I am pissed off!!!! and done with the burden of him hanging around my life! I am done with with riddles and puzzles I can't solve and questions and answers and expectations and bullying and projection and being sad and caring any more at all about him any way !!!!!

#2 Jul 20 - 10PM

Journey

I'm sorry Bada, I know you

I'm sorry Bada, I know you tried. I am glad to hear you are done with him now. You were doing everything you could to try to be rational and fair despite irrational and unfair circumstances. He may show more desperation and rage in the coming days, so be very aware, stay safe and keep in mind that you may need to take legal action if he doesn't leave you alone or keeps up his stalking behavior. I hope this week has helped for you to see that he IS disordered and incapable of empathy, love, trust or intimacy. He can act the part to the point of convincing himself and others, but his behavior now is showing you who he really is. The abuser behind the mask has pushed the mask aside and even if he tries to hide behind it again, you know now that he could show up at any time. Unfortunately, it seems the more that happens, the less incentive there is to keep the mask on - so I will repeat myself here, be careful and alert because we don't know what his reaction in the coming days will be toward you. Be strong, you are young, beautiful - don't let the loss of HIM hold you down, because you deserve so much more than he can ever offer you! ((hugs))

Journey on...

#3 Jul 20 - 1PM

bakingfortherapy

BADA...

I tried ( many times) to break up in a "nice way". I just didnt want things to end "ugly". I learned that there is NEVER a nice way to break up with a Narc. They either keep using you as supply because you are so nice... or they are mad they are not using you as supply... (how dare you not be nice sweet doll for me to play with at my every whim...this relationship is on MY terms!!) Jackasses! Sorry it didnt go the way you wanted it to... It took me a few times to figure this out... Keep moving forward. ;)

#4 Jul 20 - 1PM

prettypeeved

I am SO glad you saw this

I am SO glad you saw this bullshit from him before you got into the therapy. This is exactly what he was after all along - a way in. A way to get you to do what HE wanted. It won't be easy, but now you can move on, knowing it wouldn't have worked and you sussed his evil tricks out before he sank his claws in again.

#5 Jul 20 - 7AM

BadaBing

Thank you everyone

I have done all I can do when he was arrested I rec'd concerned phone calls telling me that his is changing - for the worse I was really worried about him - for him but i see that this is just a tactic see I wouldn't ever want to be arrested - that is over the limit for me , something is REALLY WRONG if I get arrested and I would be upset over it - I assumed he felt the same , but he doesn't it I thought that this meeting would help us communicate , I am always saying to him 'I feel like you don't hear me!" he hears me, he just doesn't really care what I am saying as long as my actions follow what he wants he will let me talk and talk and talk never ackhowledging anything nothing improves with him , it only gets worse, more twisted No wonder I am so tired lately! thank u so much for being there I am not looking back now. I am staying firmly in NC and I hate it for him if he pushes me again, now I see that he doesn't deserve my kindness. I don't need to engage or indulge his antics, tactics and anger any longer. I have been far too intimidated for too long...now I am just plain MAD. And the sex? the way he so bluntly made me responsible for his needs, even going so far as to say 'well if it's not you it will be someone else" ok let it be someone else! then he will say 'oh, but I don't want anyone but you" sounds like a problem. As my sisters says' FUCK OFF' =) again, thank u

#6 Jul 20 - 1PM (Reply to #10)

bakingfortherapy

do not engage...

" I don't need to engage or indulge his antics, tactics and anger any longer" YOU ARE RIGHT!! That is why NC is the only way. ANY CONTACTat all and they just try to use you. They just want to engage us, get us in some communication, even if its us saying "leave me alone" that still them getting us to respond in some way. They do not deserve our kindness, compassion, or anything else. They have abused and lost that privelige. YOU GO GIRL!!

#7 Jul 20 - 6AM

WellRed

You must feel a real burden

You must feel a real burden lifted off your shoulders now that you have finally brought this to a conclusion.

#8 Jul 20 - 1AM

empath

Oh Badabing...

This guy is a Narc's Narc. He is the freaking poster child for Narcs. He is SuperNarc. Please...run like hell and stay away from him! NC NC NC and no looking back or second guessing anymore! I sincerely believe you are in physical danger as well as emotional and spiritual danger by being in his dark and evil presence. As the saying goes..."When you are going through hell, keep going!" Keep going until you make it through to the other side...you are SO close and we are all here rooting for you to make it! (((hugs)))

#9 Jul 19 - 9PM

rosedewittbukater

DS you are right

It isn't always part of God's plan. This also brings to mind the quote that brought me to this site (which I wholeheartedly believe WAS part of God's plan). "when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time" (Maya Angelou). Anyway, Bada...I feel for you. This is total manipulation and you DO deserve respect. I understand how you may be tormented because the sex thing is what normal people do to get closer. I'm sorry but I don't think this is about that. If it happened in the course of an honest effort on his part to make things right, that would be a different story. But putting it out there from the get go as the only way he will go to the therapy session?!? WTF?? Please be strong and don't give in to this kind of maneuver... because that is exactly what it is. I'm sorry.

#10 Jul 19 - 6PM

Done sourcing

Breaking up on our terms is

Breaking up on our terms is not always part of God's plan. Know that you tried your hardest to be kind, loving, gentle and firm. NC-you get it...No response if he starts in-you get that too...If he violates your physical space-you get the restraining order as well. He will always want to punish you for not tolerating his behavior, he is hard wired this way. His words are manipulations, used only to sneakily coerce you back into his world. The couch, the "get in the car", the "I can't believe you're doing this to me, babe", the "we have sex then I go to therapy", he is only concerned about using and abusing you for his gain. He is at least a narc. Now you know it fully, and it took the therapy appointment to make it perfectly clear to you, funny the way things work out! You are doing great, I knew he was disordered from the start...He's the quintessential omnipotent type, and he ain't too happy right now. Start praying for him, I didn't mean my prayers either. But you are too good to let darkness enter you any more than it already has. Ask God to shed illumination on all of it, and know that God indeed has your back! ds

#11 Jul 20 - 8AM (Reply to #5)

mystwoman

You nailed this perfectly,

You nailed this perfectly, Done Sourcing. Badabing, you're now seeing him for what he truly is like. Your eyes are now completely open to his despicable ways. You deserve SO much better than this jerk's darkness for one second longer. You are doing great! Huge hugs!

______________________________________________________
God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.

#12 Jul 19 - 6PM

whoknew

grrrr

they are so frustrating and completely selfish idiots!!! i sent you a pm.

#13 Jul 19 - 5PM

victimnomore

BadaBing

I don't post much anymore but I read the boards everyday. Your post resonated with me because I was at this exact place 11 months ago. I see how hard you were trying to do this the right way, with dignity and grace but the thing is narcs don't give a damn. They always have a plan to get what they want. They are selfish and do not care about anyone else. He will never respect you or even care that you have a big heart and even though he hurt you that you still care for him. I had to make one of the biggest decisions of my life and cut my stbxn/p husband off completely and walk away from a 25 year marriage. I had exhausted all avenues and finally I decided that it was over and there was no turning back. Please be strong and feel whatever it is you need to feel but go NC. I have been NC for 11 months and it has saved my life, literally. I have not broken NC not even for a nano second because my life depends on it. I will keep you in my prayers and I know that you can do it. He already showed you who he is so please believe him. Peace and love!

victimnomore

#14 Jul 19 - 5PM

Hunter

He wants to have sex with

He wants to have sex with you? WTF? Yup Bada, to the curb, he's nuts! Remember I'm the only one who gave this guy a chance! I was wrong. This guy is good, how does that saying go? Fool me once..... It just goes to show how contact causes more harm than good! He is a true Narcissist. Yuck!! You've come this far, get to the end! You are well aware of the rules! NC! This dude is all about him! Tell him to go fuck the Co worker or Mr Lefty works well too! Hunter PS I'm sorry :(

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