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Advice for Hunter

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#1 Jul 15 - 6PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Advice for Hunter

Oh these Narc's what is one to do.

This has nothing to do with the Dog Whisperer. It has to do with my Narc COP Brother in Law.

You know How I hate to be long so I hope I explain this ok.

Narc Cop is married to my husbands sister. He's A huge asshole and his family is just as bad.He has treated the way of narc treats his victim so Its not necessary to get into that.

I get home from LA and my husband comes down saying Cop isn't going to go our family vacation if you are going and I don't know what to do.My sister is crying and scared.

Great family give Power/supply to the Narc.

I will say my husband is now caught in the middle. For his sister to put him in this position is simply BS.

Narc Cop hates me because for years I handle him Hunter Style. I take NONE of his BS NONE.

His family owns a real estate business where his father sold my husband and I a condo as an investment. The Building was a conversion at the time so all the units were for sale at the same time. During this time his fathers Company managed the unit as well as most of the others. He was also the president of the association. Come to find out from other owners his father is a thief. I tried to stay out of it the best that i could due to the family connection. However it was a very large investment. Cop called me and demanded my husband and I take his fathers side. Again we never took sides, I did vote to change how decisions would be made going forward. Cop told me to resind my signature. I told him to Piss Off. Since then he hates my guts, mine not my husbands, ( any decisions made were made by both my husband and i)

Finally when we go to sell this property, we find out we were charged $15,000.00 more than the others. Nice isn't this? And he hates me!

SOOOO Now he pulls his child move and says if she's going Im not. Is he 5? The idiot doesn't want to go he'd rather stay home and screw and drink. Blame me, now the whole family is upset. Im pissed.

This is the best part. and somehow I'm always in trouble. I called my other sister in law in a complete rage and said this idiot is blaming me, I told her everything about him, cheating hurting BLAH, BALH, (this is nothing that she hasn't heard before and me raging in normal when Im mad.

As Im raging Im assuming my sister in law is home on her sofa. Nope she's standing Next to cops 16 yr old daughter and she heard. She is deviated. This is my fault too.

WTF? Is my sister in law a complete moran why didn't she stop the conversation?

Now my husband and everyone else is pissed at me. Now What? I would never hurt that child.

Bottom line A Narc at work.

Hunter

Jul 19 - 8PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Update

Wait till you hear this... OMG! Hail to the bad lieutenant, my mother in law called and said she is sooooooooo thrilled that the happy couple are getting along they are really working at it!! Ha, yeah right, I said "do they go out to dinner together, do they go out with friends " answer " well no it's not their thing" Wow, a marriage made in heaven. Now that I'm not going on vacation he's stuck, what do you think? Does he go? I bet by the time the vacation day arrives he won't be going, I can't wait! I told my mother in law I will never speak to that toxic man again! She had nothing to say! Best part is this idiot wins and no one has apologized to me? Whatever! I'm watching a narc at work right in front of me and can't do a thing about it! Hunter
Jul 20 - 4AM (Reply to #13)
Lobo555
Lobo555's picture

I think he'll blow the

I think he'll blow the vacation off with a lame excuse. What a lousy situation/train wreck to have to watch. Cops are bad news. I really mean it, they are. (BTW, CharlieSheenWinning = Former Cop. Shocker, huh?)
Jul 18 - 4PM
Journey
Journey's picture

Hi Hunter, I read all the

Hi Hunter, I read all the comments and I agree that her daughter overhearing your conversation was not your fault and for everyone to be mad at you (including hubby is not fair), but NOTHING is fair where narcs are concerned. I think you've made the right decision not to go. If it were me, I'd want to speak to the daughter or send an email apologizing that she heard your words spoken with such anger - that is probably what upset her the most (subconsciously). You don't need to take your words back or apologize for having your opinions of Cop, maybe just the rage you said you expressed them with would help diffuse that situation. She may know instinctively that your words made sense, but not be ready to understand the truth of them and what the implication of accepting them is to her in reality. Hubby is really probably only angry because it happened at all and he feels all the pressure about being put in the middle. I don't know if you've expressed to hubby how sorry you are that he is in the middle, but he MUST understand why you are angry at Cop and how you've been mistreated by him throughout the years. As far as the rest of the family being angry, well I think that is all about the denial they have to hold onto in order to deal with Cop and the stress and fog that doing so puts them under. The truth is too hard for them to hear right now... that is unfortunate, but there isn't anything you can do to change that. All you can do is know in yourself that you have done what you can to not make it worse for anyone by continuing to hold onto the anger as best you can and try to let it go for yourself. They will think the way they will and theirs is thinking influenced by close proximity to a narc. (We all know how hard it is to decipher what is the truth when so influenced). They don't really know what they are doing because of it, for them it is like a survival mechanism - shutting you out instead of Cop (being the easier thing to do). So sorry you have to deal with this, argh! ((hugs))

Journey on...

Jul 18 - 8PM (Reply to #11)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Journey

Thanks for the great advice as always. My niece overhearing this does upset me. I cant believe my Sister in law didn't hang up the phone. I think I ll let the Dust settle a bit. You know ,if you cut out everyone you end up alone. I overlook so much shit from my husbands family. This guy takes the cake. Better my sister in law than me. She's drinking the Kool aide no doubt, in fact I think they all are. My husband is taking my side. He told his sister, her husband, her problem. For her to put this in his lap is unfair. She is scared shitless of the Bad lieutenant ! Sometimes it makes perfect sense why I ran to Narc.
Jul 16 - 10PM
Littleone
Littleone's picture

Ugh definately a narc at work

Ugh definately a narc at work that's for sure! Revolting creatures. My advice is stay strong to your principles but go silent. The more you try to defend your case and yourself, the more of a nut you will be made out to be. You have to let it go. Annoying that your hubby is pissed but hopefully he will wake up to the reality of the situation eventually. It's not your fault that the conversation was over heard- none whatsoever. Keep being hunter, the truth will shine through eventually, it's just a matter of time.
Jul 17 - 8AM (Reply to #9)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

LO

Thanks, Silence to the Narc. I've decided to stay home, let my Sister in law ( who chooses to stay) handle her daughter and her family. If everyone else in the family chooses to kiss Cops ass, have at. This chick knows better. Ill take my own advice and let my silence be my sentence. Hunter
Jul 15 - 7PM
girlsinger
girlsinger's picture

hunter

Hi your right the mom should mend this but somehow she dosent sound like the type that will its sounds so stressful...grrrr but kids are flexible they don't have 'fixed" thinking yet your niece loves you and look at her...she has a cop narc dod and a mom in denial in her own way your niece looks to you what options do feel you have in this? Im sure you have given it alot of thought its really crazymaking behavior well..anything with a Narc is always gonna end badly I cannot imagine a mom that would have her daughter listen in on an adult convo when is this family vacation anyway? be blessed K be blessed
Jul 15 - 7PM (Reply to #6)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

GS

Vacation is in August. I didn't want to go anyway. This SOB has my sister in Law sucked in. Now they are trying to make things work Good God! They all have their heads buried in the sand. I just feel bad for the kids. anyway I guess Ill let it blow over. My niece will see his true colors at some point. Her younger brother hates him. Hunter
Jul 16 - 10AM (Reply to #7)
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

Hunter

Hunter; I agree with your post here... I think your husband is lucky to have you care so much. Many wouldn't be so invested in the lives of others. Most people don't care about anyone anymore! It's sad. I remember when I was a kid, and family was key. Even extended family/inlaws. Everyone tried to do the best for each other, to get along...if there was a problem, they'd help each other out. We live in different times, now, I guess. And your BIL sounds horrible, indeed. But, unfortunately, your husband's sister needs to work this out...find her way out...or find her way THROUGH...on her own. You've done all you can. But, don't apologize. I don't see you as having done a thing wrong. You just won't tolerate his crap. lol Which the narc cop takes issue with, mainly. They like everyone cowtowing around them, as we all know. When you don't...they smear you. Make you look like the 'nut' to everyone else. Been there done that, and with 'family,' it has to really hurt. I'm sorry you're going through this. You have enough on your plate with your health, too...please put this aside. You don't need any stress right now in your life. Hugs and may things get better...and may you find some serenity in knowing, you have done all YOU can. Love your insights, Hunter.
Jul 15 - 7PM
girlsinger
girlsinger's picture

HUNTER

Hi There Id say put the kid first.. hey cop narc knows you are onto him thats why he's not mad at hubby but mad at you....he knows you know so, in the name of peace, and family and not getting an ulcer and of the kid I wouldnt go they will miss you and cop narc will be stuck with knowning inside that your not there because of his childishness I guess I can only say what I would do I would stay home. and wish them all well.. and also...since the kid heard th ephone convo I'd have a little "mending conversation" with her your creative you can make that happen this must be very tough on you so sorry.. be blessed k
Jul 15 - 7PM (Reply to #3)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Girlsinger

Thanks, I could care less about that piece of shit. My sweet little niece heard. She hates me now. I think her mother needs to mend this.How about the truth for once. I cant imagine living in that household that POS doesn't even sleep at home half the time. she de friended me on face Book. He's still going at it, saying this was going to be their make vacation but if Im there Ill ruin it. Why isn't he taking his wife alone on a vacation? Why because he's a liar. I don't even talk to him and haunt in years. If I see him I tolerate him. Look at all the trouble he's caused. Best part is my husband is soo pissed at me. Hunter
Jul 16 - 11AM (Reply to #4)
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

I'm sorry to read this

I'm sorry to read this Hunter. :=( Sometimes, I look at it like this. We ALL were blinded to the truth of these people at one point. Maybe that's where many are. I see people in my life, blindly respect and take my ex n's nonsense for Gospel. When these people in your family get directly hurt by the cop narc...they'll see. Sad ...but they'll see. Eventually, narcs hurt everyone...EVERYONE...in their path. Hang in there. Again, so sorry this is going on.
Jul 15 - 6PM
Happy1
Happy1's picture

You know with Narcs what you

You know with Narcs what you have to do... ignore and I would ignore him. He's an idiot! Don't take blame on when it's not your fault your niece heard a phone conversation. How were you to know!!!