Devalued Forever

Hey ladies, im back because I have recently been devalued forever..where do I start..well since I stopped talking to the narc in nov when he replaced me with the ow from our college.. I went nc that entire time from nov to April..because ladies in april I decided I wanted him back after months of fb watching him and ignoring him..he hoovered me throughout the nc time also..well I said you know what my mom and dad also my grandmother is a narc..and I take there BS...why cant I take his..that trully was my choice..I then thought..i can get sex ...kisses and feel his arms around me again..most of all I can get to see his eyes...well I decided to hit hin up on fb..pored on the most humiliating ego stroje ever things like "You are perfect"..i said "Your the king"...i read somewhere that if you over do it with statements like that the narc will eat it up and be so self indulged they wont even know your lying..but it wilk get them to value you again..well it worked..but I honesrly beleived it worked because o went nc..and ignored him ..he wanted control again..he said things like " when you stopped talking to me it hurt..but I out in my poker face"..you see ladies nc does hurt them...well I he came over..we kissed so passionantly made out..un the lobby of my apt..almost devowerd eachother..right there and then it was like we first met..the only thing is that I knew he was a narc forsure...well we ended up having sex the next day...he was agressive...painfull and full of agression when having sex with me..i was left with bruses..i beleive I was punished for the nc..after tgere was da javue.it was exactly like the devalue and discard crromony he did to me before..sex on the floor not the bed..abusive..aggressive..painful sex..grabbing my neck..what was interesting was when I was grabbing his neck he moved my hand to grabb mine..it was all about control.we was literally fighting...well after we watched a movie..then he said something that made me know I was about to be devalued for sure..he said "you lucky this song wasnt playing while we was having sex"..he said those same words the first time he discarded me..i knew then it was over..after he walked me home we kissed over and over..and over..then two days past nothing...3 days past...nothing..4 days past nothing..i hit him up and he said ive been trying to hit you up..which was a lie..i look on his face book..and hes saying "i love you" to a girl..i found out later shes 17 years old and its his gf..she actually was with him in nov after me then he left her for the girl in my college..6 gf later hes back with her..well I told her him and I had sex..she said she still will be with him..he said im not his ex..then the girl started flirting with me..i cussed him out..he said he video taped ys having sex and gave it to his friend..after..i waited until the end of may to hit the girl up..she said they broke up because he disrispected her and flirt with everyone..i asked ger how old she was she said "17"...i started cusding hom about his narcissism over fb..i sent him msgs ontop of msgs..i went vack and forth with wanting him back to getting angry..all this time hes ignoring me..i hit him up almost everyday for a month..he ignored me. And continued to say he loves this girl..on fb..i was hurt and jealous..i couldnt stop leaving him messeges..well ge saw me in the street..tapped me on my arm asked me "are you ok"..over and over..i told him I dont know what your talking about..he shook his head and kept walking..while glancing at me throught the train ride..

Well I keft him one laat msg after that telling him he acted mature and im sorry for my behavior..then deleated my fb..i feel like dirt.This is a real story of being devalued forever...and its entirely my fault..