A note to each of YOU :)

Hello All.
I just wanted to share some thoughts with you as I begin my baby steps to recovery. I have been a member for a short time but I am only now able to take baby steps towards healing the scars that no one else can see.

The day the N shattered my heart, I literally fell to the ground and COULD NOT GET UP. I eventually did get off that floor physically but I stayed there emotionally for weeks in a fetal position. Then I uncurled myself and lay flat. Then I rose to my knees. And now I am beginning to crawl. It has taken me 3 months.

I wanted each of you to know that it is with your thoughts, advice, and kindness that I am able to even know which direction to go. I may not know where my recovery will lead but at least I now I am see a path. It sure beats being lost in the woods. I have this forum to thank for showing me that path. So thank-you all. From the bottom of my heart. For saving my life.

I keep coming back to a monologue from a movie. The movie is “V for Vendetta”, the original piece is from Valerie’s Letter. I will shameless steal pieces from that letter to write one for all of you......

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Dear Friends,

I don't know who you are. Please believe…. But I don't care. I am me, and I don't know who you are, but I love you.

We are bound together. We have survived emotional terrorism. We know what it means to beg for mercy and be denied. We know what it means to look in the mirror and not recognize the soulless eyes staring back at us. We are bound together, survivors of this war. We are not alone. We will endure. We will sustain. We will SURVIVE.

I have a voice. A little one now, because the Narc demanded silence for too long, but I have discovered it is still there, a part of me the N did not find. I hid it inside me. Somehow I knew that he would come looking for it. Nothing is sacred to the him. Not my heart. Not my body. And especially not my soul. My voice has been silenced for so long that it even sounds strange to my own ears. But it gets stronger each day.

The Narc has taken away so much. But he did not take your soul. He did not take your spirit. It may be damaged, but it is there. Even if it is just an inch.
An inch. It's small and it's fragile and it's the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it, or sell it, or give it away. We must never let him take it from us.

I don't know who you are. Or whether you're a man or a woman. I hope that you escape this empty place. You are not alone. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart.

-Me