The Path Forward Virtual Retreat Febuary 2021!



Weird things your narc did....Chime in!

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#1 Jun 25 - 9PM
sunny 523
sunny 523's picture

Weird things your narc did....Chime in!

I'll start...

He came to my house to surprise me while I was at a doctor appointment. I called him to tell him I would be home a little late (I didn't know at the time that he was at my house). He told me that he was waiting for me at my house, and he felt like a "sucker" for waiting for me for such a long time. I told him that I didn't even know he was coming, and that I would be back as soon as I could. He said, "forget it, I'm going home." I wound up going to his place to try to "make amends." Of course, he pouted and it turned into a stupid, unnecessary argument!

There are SO many more stories I have!

Please chime in...it will hopefully help all of us to STAY NC!

XOXO!
Mer

Jul 27 - 4PM
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Fascination with cross-dressing

After all these years, I FINALLY understood why the ex-Psych prof was obsessed with "Shakespeare in Love." He was into the cross-dressing of Viola (Gwyneth Paltrow), his theory was that the Bard (Joseph Fiennes) preferred her when she dressed as a man. Now I know that the Bard dresses up like a woman when they put on "Romeo and Juliet." Yeah, I didn't know THAT aspect of the movie. He identified with the Bard.... but then again he'd parrot the line "Your father is paying me to please you" from Lord Wessex (Colin Firth) who marries Viola solely for money. He also liked the line "This is not life, but a stolen season." The ex-P also likes the scene in "War and Peace" in which Nicholas Rostov dresses like an old woman, his childhood sweetheart Sonya dresses like a mustached soldier, and Natasha as a hussar. He'd go on and on and on and on about that scene. He also liked the scene about Ivanushka, a member of the Godsfolk who's considered a man (she dresses&acts like one) He'd call me a slut whenever I wore a skirt or dress.... I once joked if he wanted to wear them, and of course, he took offense. He liked "Confederacy of Dunces",in which the obese masturbating Narc Ignatius Reilly rallies drag queens in New Orleans. Scholars have noted that Leo Tolstoy favored androgynous characters... so yeah, it makes sense.
Jul 27 - 4AM
Survivor101
Survivor101's picture

After I

After I left him for the final time, he came to my new apartment claiming to have found wonderful employment (all lies) and being a renewed honest loving person (more lies!) and that he wants to make it all up to me (hahahaha!)and that God has big plans for us as a family and then he promptly went on his knees and proposed. I laughed so much I choked! The look on his face... priceless!
Jul 25 - 5PM
Littleone
Littleone's picture

Oh and another one

Came home with a bloodied and gashed up hand. his story was that he got cut off in traffic so he drove the car off the road and punched the guys window and punched the mirror clean off! He did all of this driving my dads car! He still thought he had done the right thing and it was not his fault that he reacted this way. Also he got no fewer than 9 red light camera fines through the SAME intersection !! first 5 times in my car, last 4 in my dads! You think you would remember to slow down at that intersection after the first time!!
Jul 27 - 6AM (Reply to #115)
Cindylou
Cindylou's picture

ONLY if HE is the owner of

ONLY if HE is the owner of the car that got the ticket. He may even pay the tickets, but if it won't suspend HIS license for non-payment...he won't care HOW many tickets are issued to someone elses car.
Jul 25 - 5PM
Littleone
Littleone's picture

Dont know if I've already

Dont know if I've already posted this- Sorry if I double up! He had to kiss me 5 times when he was saying goodbye. So weird 5 rapid fast dry mouthed kisses at 4am! Ugh weirdo
Jul 25 - 5PM
IncognitoBurrito
IncognitoBurrito's picture

Let's see...

Weird? You want weird? Alright, well I posted a little while back about one N. This time, I'll tell you about my parents. "Weird" was having a father who used me as a cute, little prop, to look like the perfect father. But he was abusive, emotionally and physically, behind closed doors. I was largely discarded and ignored, unless he needed me, to make himself look good in front of friends or family. "Weird" was having a mother who absolutely despised me, and my existence. A mother who left me to rot, in daycare, for 12+ hrs everyday. She used work as an excuse to side-step being a mother. Plus, she absolutely could not be happy for me. She could not STAND to see me succeed in anything. She was downright blissful when she made me feel lower than dirt. She crippled me, for life. I wasn't prepared for adulthood. I didn't learn to drive until after I married, and my husband taught me. I had zero sense of self. I existed to make her happy. Which she never could be, unless I suffered. She alienated both younger sisters from me. When I'd mail gifts down for holidays, she'd find some excuse or another, not to give it to them, or why they were inappropriate for them. THAT WAS WEIRD.
Jul 25 - 5PM
Littleone
Littleone's picture

Came home oneday to find some

Came home oneday to find some of my clothes messed up in the wardrobe. Among them a leopard print silky material wrap dress. Asked EXN about it, he said that he had tried it on thinking it was a jacket. Umm clearly not a jacket... He'd stretched the arm holes- he is 6'4 and I'm 5ft. To this day I still wonder about that one... If he wanted to try it on why do it when I wasn't home ? Why be secretive- weird Maybe he was a cross dresser haha
Jul 25 - 4PM
SailorChik
SailorChik's picture

Wierd things indeed

My ex-N was turned off when I was turned on. If I wanted sex, he did not. He said I "kissed like a guy." His preferred positions were on his back or on his side. He once said he liked the side position best because he didn't have to deal with "arms and legs and gravity." He would not perform oral (I did on him and he seemed to enjoy it). At first he said it was because he had a deviated septum and couldn't breathe! Then he changed the story to "my wife didn't appreciate it so I don't like to do it, it makes me uncomfortable." and it was always about his comfort. He was separated and getting divorced and talked all the time about his wife. He also talked about female friends and ex girlfriends, and kept it up when I asked him repeatedly to stop. He even called his wife on the phone when we were in bed! And he can't figure out why I dumped him.
Jul 25 - 7PM (Reply to #109)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

"Kissed like a guy"

Now how would he KNOW THAT??? From firsthand experience?? I guess his favorite song would be Elphaba's "Defying Gravity" from WICKED. Too entitled to deal with "arms, legs, gravity."
Jul 28 - 10AM (Reply to #110)
SailorChik
SailorChik's picture

I had to wonder

But at the moment I never could come up with the witty comeback. It was one of his veiled insults and came toward the end. In retrospect, for all his talk about hot women and all his bragging, he had very little interest in sex. I suspect the brag list is far longer than the do list. (you'd think a 55 year old guy would be happy to get any!)
Jul 25 - 6PM (Reply to #105)
Gullable1
Gullable1's picture

Sailor

Hey??? My narc said the same thing? Arms and legs in the way.!!! Side sex.? Creepy! Sometimes I feel like if we all met and faced our narc, one lone guy would walk in ... Whoaaa
Jul 28 - 10AM (Reply to #108)
SailorChik
SailorChik's picture

Is he from Maine?

Mine was...maybe it's something in the water up there! lol
Jul 25 - 9PM (Reply to #106)
strongblackcoffee
strongblackcoffee's picture

Gullable

I laughed out loud. Thanks, I needed that. Peace, Coffee
Jul 25 - 9PM (Reply to #107)
Gullable1
Gullable1's picture

Coffee

Thanks! If I can give you a chuckle in a day of anger, then hot damn!
Jul 24 - 10AM
Gullable1
Gullable1's picture

Oh I could write for years.....

My narc is so unbalanced and self centered, everyone was out to get him. We would patron regular eating establishments, (my dime of course) I travel quite a bit for work, so I always wanted our time together to be special. We would have certain places we frequented and the staff new us by name. Randomly during a meal or an outing he would become dark and gloomy wanting to leave ASAP!,, As we would get In the car he would start in on how they treated him poorly, didn't respect him or were making fun of him as I paid. Or may favorite, he spoke of how they all knew what car he drove and were hateful and jealous....(old ass sports car) He would be so upset, he would mumble the entire evening, well into the next day. I would try and rationally point out nothing of the sort transpired, the fed us, tallied out tab, took cash and we left? He would turn on me withhold sex, affection and usually break up with me. Of course nothing of the sort ever happened. I later figured each time someone had not placed him square in the center of attention and adornment, or if someone paid me a compliment, this constituted as poor treatment. Once a waiter said he liked my hair? The narc accused him of wanting to f me? Not quite sure how those jumps were made? If only things were that easy? Nice hair to naked? No mention or gratitude on how I spent hours on a plane, dressed to the nines, filled the house with food, cleaned, gave him spending money AND took us to dinner!!! Only, no one treated HIM "right"
Jul 25 - 6PM (Reply to #102)
sunny 523
sunny 523's picture

Mine was the SAME

Mine was the SAME way....everyone treated him poorly wherever he went. I almost forgot about some of this stuff. The memories are flooding back!!! Mer
Jul 25 - 7PM (Reply to #103)
Gullable1
Gullable1's picture

Same.

Memories flood back cuz we began to think apologizing for offending narcs was normal.
Jul 25 - 3PM (Reply to #91)
deecbee
deecbee's picture

Could've written that to a T!

Could've written that to a T! Everyone was always talking about him behind is back or disrespecting him. And of course, everyone was SOOOOO jealous of him. I had to hold myself back from telling him that it was probably the exact opposite of jealousy they were feeling- jealous of WHAT??
Jul 25 - 6PM (Reply to #92)
Gullable1
Gullable1's picture

Respect to a T

Wtf? Is that a narc trait? The whole respect me crap.? Mine has got up and made a dramatic exit of every function I have ever hosted, at first i would leave guests and chase him out the door, begging him to come back and apologizing for....??? after a while i would give up on chasing him out the door, I would call him after everyone else left and let him vent about how insensitive I was to his needs and how rude everyone was to him. (yes charity events need to be all about narcs, not the charity) Well that didn't work either so, i just stopped inviting him all together saying i was sparing his feelings, of course I sucked for not including him at that point. Either way painful and non win. I hosted my first even post narc, i can't tell you how peaceful it was not to worry about his respect, jealousy, texts, upstaging, storming, shadow throwing ass. Ahhhhh....
Jul 25 - 7PM (Reply to #101)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Dramatic exits

The ex-Psych prof was a MASTER of this! Whenever students got deep into discussion, he'd find ways to END IT when class was supposed to end (he'd keep his watch on the table) He'd stop what he called "superfluous discussion."* He made a DRAMATIC exit when I had a polite, nice conversation with his girlfriend after the final D&D. She had to go running down the stairs after him when she realized he had vanished... amazingly, they're still together after a decade. He made a DRAMATIC exit, storming out when the senior skit ridiculed him (don't worry,he got the recap from me a la Howard Cosell) Early on, in my freshman year, he angrily dismissed everybody when he thought the questions were too much at the Q&A session after his first lecture. He'd dramatically hold his cranium as if he had come down with a migraine. He'd storm out whenever he thought people were laughing at him. *"Superfluous discussion" is the reason why Christian Science lectures DON'T have Q&A sessions afterwards. I learned this in the Church Manual of the Mother Church of Christian Science of Boston, Massachusetts. My classmates said they could imagine the ex-P in a Christian Science reading room.... that's what they said 15 years ago... and I've been to the headquarters of Christian Science, PLUS Boston is FANTASTIC!
Jul 25 - 6PM (Reply to #93)
deecbee
deecbee's picture

Wow, yours stomped off and

Wow, yours stomped off and tantrumed like a toddler too? The similarities between these guys are hilarious! Anytime we went out in a "group" setting, I knew the evening was going to end up a disaster. I knew the N would take some petty offense to an innocuous comment, or get insecure/jealous about something completely trivial and make a scene. He'd leave to go home and if I didn't go with him, there was hell to pay later. I was expected to go chasing after him and consoling him. He is doing the same thing with his OW. He doesn't like her group of friends and goes on paranoid rants about them all "hating" him (which, I'm sure they do by now!) and I can think of at least 3 times in the past month that he found a reason to storm off mid-date. I only know this because he'll then call or text me in the wee hours of the morning to rant and yell about how his relationship is crumbling and it's all her fault, etc, she needs to choose between him or her friends, him or her sister, even between him and her FATHER for crying out loud.
Jul 25 - 7PM (Reply to #97)
Gullable1
Gullable1's picture

Oh... Forgot

The workplace, the n is constantly bitching about how he hates all his co-workers, they are all out to get him. No one appreciates his work, the don't respect him. He then gets paranoid thinking they are actively trying to steal his precious belongings. He then seeks revenge on imaginary thievery and disrespect.
Jul 28 - 10AM (Reply to #100)
SailorChik
SailorChik's picture

Mine did that too.

Was paranoid, always complained about his boss, when in fact he tried to undermine him. Power play all the way baby! He carped about his boss when he wasn't carping about his wife and the "unfair" divorce process and how the entire State of Maine was out to get him (he actually said this).
Jul 26 - 4AM (Reply to #98)
Reddley
Reddley's picture

Yup this one is the same as

Yup this one is the same as mine... I don't remember a single night we spent together that he wasn't bitching about someone or something at work. Now that I know what isn't real about him... that's all we had in common.. was our job. /sigh He was so paranoid that he'd check his backpack before leaving in case someone tossed something in his bag that would get him fired for theft. EVERYTHING has security tags on them so if you walk out the doors the alarms go off. I always said to myself... if you weren't such an asshole to so many people, you might not have so many reasons to be paranoid. They'll never get it.
Jul 27 - 6AM (Reply to #99)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Paranoia

The ex-Psych prof was paranoid about people talking about him behind his back, especially LAUGHING behind it. He was scared that I had printed out one of his online essays, was selling it, and laughing at it with my friends. He was PARANOID when I wrote for the college newspaper-tho he wasn't in it&wasn't even mentioned in my article. He'd threaten to dump me if I told other people how he treated me. He was always afraid about his reputation. Despite the fact he treated me poorly in class, and the final D&D was public&ugly,he was afraid of what I'd say(???) Oh, here's the kicker... he was afraid of me going to Massachusetts because I'd talk to people who knew him. That was HIS fear. Of course, when I went to Boston recently, I told him&his colleagues about it. NO, I didn't seek out his "acquaintances" in the Bay State... I wasn't gonna waste MY precious time like that. Little did I realize that joyfully rubbing my Fun Boston Vacation in his face was probably aggravating his considerable paranoia.
Jul 25 - 7PM (Reply to #94)
Gullable1
Gullable1's picture

Stormed!

Yep, restaurants, parties, work functions, bars, BBQ, damn drama king. And yes, he would usually call some woman and bitch about how horrible I was, maybe arrange some revenge sex with said strange to really teach me a lesson. Or text one of my friends to bitch about how utterly horrid I am for allowing such disrespect. Yadda, yadda ! "if your family doesn't support your relationship, then they aren't positive for us" Immature bastard
Jul 25 - 7PM (Reply to #95)
deecbee
deecbee's picture

Lol, I should know by now

Lol, I should know by now that all these men are cut from the same cloth, birds of a feather, etc, but I still find myself picking my jaw up off the ground at their identical antics. Identical! And you bet he was bad-mouthing you to somebody when he was pissed. He must've done the same when we were together. He'd call me up and tell me all her deepest, darkest secrets and would ask me if I would get involved in the form of flirtatious or suggestive comments on his facebook wall to make her insecure or to "put her in her place". No can do!
Jul 25 - 7PM (Reply to #96)
Gullable1
Gullable1's picture

Lol

I know... The similarities are uncanny. Creepy... I've been "put in my place" countless times. I've my "place" is far away from tantruming grown ass men behaving like insolent children
Jul 24 - 9AM
Reddley
Reddley's picture

OH Almost forgot this gem!

After the first time we had sex... he went to the washroom to have a dump. He shouted to me with the door open. Now I can use the bathroom without closing the door because we've seen each other naked. And got very pissie that I wouldn't leave the door open when I used the toilet. Haaaa
Jul 25 - 6PM (Reply to #89)
sunny 523
sunny 523's picture

Mine would get upset about that, too!

He was such a f#$%^ weirdo!!! Mer