Got Asked on a Date

Hi there "makes me want to break out in a cold sweat" the body NEVER lies you know, I have no idea where we got the message that we have to "explain ourselves" especially to someone we dont even know... I have Unlearned that now, Thank GOD what I did learn was that NO. is a complete sentance..period good for you be blessed K

Oh, does this sound familiar. Same with mine. "I knew he was bad but still kept up hope that he would love me and actually think of me as a girlfriend." I actually believed (he LED me to believe) that I would be the one to "change" him, help him to see life in a different way, find true love, live "the simple life." Yeah...Mr. Materialistic himself actually thought he could learn to live "the simple life" with me. It all goes back to what we all say and believe on this board...TRUST YOUR GUT INSTINCT. We knew they were bad BUT.... No "buts" anymore. If there is a "but" it means run the other way and FAST before they get a hold of us and squeeze the very life out of us. We can't fix them. We are the most caring, compassionate, fair, giving people on the planet and many of us are very spiritual, too. But the sad fact is that WE CANNOT FIX THEM. No one can. Nothing can. They are bad now and will be bad forever.

If you already have "alarm bells" going off.....trust it! If there is ONE thing that all of us here needs to learn is that WE MUST TRUST OUR GUT AND HONOUR IT! From what you write about him.....I think he seems rather questionable...... ...your gut is either telling you that "he" is bad.....OR telling you that it is "too soon" for you......either way, it's telling you SOMETHING. ( my personal opinion is that he sounds narcish, AND it is far too soon for you to date ) But that is just my opinion.....you must Trust YOURSELF! Good luck and keep us posted:) xoxo, Steph

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Hi There Sounds to me like if your going to go..please...best to proceed with caution, extreme caution common sense, going with your gut..good advice personally, I was cool with it until the "toy's" part but even that is ok, I suppose.. personally,it would turn me right off(thats just me) but you were there, I wasnt and hey men brag,..whatever but what was a RED FLAG for me was "MANAGING ME, so I can get syndicated"...! umm that's alot in one meeting that wasnt even a first date people that can syndicate you dont EVER advertise such a thing EVER real movers and shakers are very much "under the radar" especially when they go out for fun but, sweetie you will never know unless you inquire I would as I said, proceed with EXTREME CAUTION you know after the N wound...its like wearing glasses that are the wrong perscription for a while toys, boats,syndication...geeze, I just dont know be blessed K

NO NO NO us women must learn to trust the gut feelings, you know if hes shady, dont feel pressured that others will feel youre to picky. he sounds like a douche and he probably is,

Follow your gut! Bragging about material things is a big yuck for me! Dating is fine, but dating anyone for the sake of dating? Fuck what others think, it's all about you baby !! Hunter

You answered your own question............you think it is too soon, than it is. In time, when you don't say those words, you will be ready. Also.......not to be prejudice, but I personally would stay away from anyone who makes a living in SALES. They are the best at manipulation, control, bull shit, getting what they want, need............just saying.

the corelations! I too am 'locally famous' with regard to writing... I know what you mean. I feel exposed and generally like to keep my personal life VERY private. No one knew I was seeing the disordered one (small town stuff), which as it turns out is a huge blessing. Also, I met a person in an off-chance sort of way and when he called and asked to meet I was a nervous wreck. I actually felt compelled to 'talk to' the disordered one (isn't that nuts? That's conditioning, I realize, because I used to tell him everything that was going on in my life). In any event, I agreed to meet the new guy and when I hung up the phone I started actually crying! I felt like such damaged goods... ...Here's what happened, though. We met for cocktails. He was FINE, FINE, FINE. Funny. Nice, a gentleman. We ended up having dinner and the date lasted about three hours. I actually had FUN! I had a great time despite my nervousness. He walked me to my car and my body language was such that he actually asked for a hug...he said 'oh, are you shy?' because I was so scared. We hugged briefly and that was it. I cried on the way home because again I felt so damaged and I also thought this new guy would NEVER like someone like me and would reject me... ...Well, I let it go. As it turns out, he did like me and didn't reject me and we get together a couple of times a week and it's GREAT. Lobo, I was with the disordered one six years and only at 5 months NC when this opportunity presented itself. I knew it was way too early to get involved, but also at my age did not want to miss an opportunity and I am glad I took the risk. Early on, I sabotaged a little because my narc radar was so up like yours...but hot guy has demonstrated to me through his ACTIONS that he is NOT A JERK OR EVEN REMOTELY A NARC. Now I know you have some concerns but here's what I say. It's one date for a couple of drinks. You are in control of the situation. If it gets stupid or uncomfortable, leave. Maybe you can just approach it with an open mind and if it isn't that great you've only invested a couple of hours and you never have to see him again. If it is great at least you'll have a new friend to maybe have some fun with and divert the attention off of twisted CharlieSheenNotReallyWinning so he'll be in the dust where he belongs! I apologize for making this so long. It's just that I know the agonizing decision you are facing. I'm just saying I'm glad I went for it. It has turned out to be a good thing in my life...one of many since I've committed to getting the sick MF'er out of my head. I hope this helps a little. Big hugs from (TOTALLY NOT) spinning. NEVER AGAIN!