My life with M

The Lies Which Nearly Drove Me to the
Brink of Insanity

I lost myself in his tangled webb of deception.

Lies, Lies, Lies, reality is slipping away.

I am tired; I am losing my truth; my way.

Who am I with him? Who am I without him?

Help me; how do I get away? How do I get him out; he won't leave me?

Take my house, take my car, take my credit cards, just don't take my soul.

My light is growing dim, I am tired, I can't fight back anymore.

Dear God; please make him leave. He won't leave.

The police think it is a joke; I called them 11 times and they laugh in my face.

He leaves; he goes to jail. He comes back to torture me again.

He begins to sniff white powder and turns into Satan, the devil himself.

I felt something sturring inside of me; it started out small and then grew big. There was a volcano erupting inside of me.

I went away for 2 days and spoke with a young woman who is contemplating becoming a Trappist Sister and devoting her life to God. What a startling contract to my existance with M. She said: "You will find your answers; the truth lies in God."

I came home and I started screaming and screaming and could not stop. Get out, Get out, Get out!!!

He left; he came back; I looked at him and felt nothing. Like I was looking at a shell on the beach. Old, worn, brittle, empty, faded; something to put on my window sill and glace at every 6 months or so (he is only 30 years old). I had no emotion left when I glanced at that shell

I turned away; dialed my phone; called a forum member in crisis; and walked back into my house.

I still have my soul.

God bless,
Goldie