I moved out &** IT's OVER***

Hi all.

I haven't been able to check in lately. Lot's has happened.

I went over this weekend with the crew and packed up my things. It wasn't without drama, there was plenty of drama that day.

It started when we showed up at 8am and he was still sleeeping.

I went in to the bedroom and was polite and told him I would shut the bedroom door and start else where in the house. I spoke softly and he was groggy and he asked me if we could go and get a cup of coffee real quick and talk. I told him I couldn't do that I shut the door.

I got the boxes out from the truck and my sister started in the kitchen packing. I was going trying to remain focused on task and block out my emotions for this day.

He got up and eventually came out of the bedroom and kept walking up to me and whispering in my ear "PLEASE come and talk to me" and I just said 'not today'. I asked to to leave and go out and get some breakfast which led to his loud voice "WHY Do YOU want me TO LEAVE?" I said maybe it would make this easier on both of us and he reminded me he was interested in making 'this easy' for me. He told me that he was pissed I came in and removed all the photos I could find and what did I do with them? I told him it didn't really matter any more and he said it mattered to him. I can't go around destroy property and I snapped back he can't go around destroying relationship either!

So he yanked my arm in to the bathroom and shoved me against the door and locked it, my sister and her boyfriend were beating on the door, he was yelling at them to stop and I was yelling at him to let me go. He was angry and frustrated and got in my face and yelled at me 'WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I LOVE YOU AND I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU!!' he hit his fist on the door with frustration and I yelled at my sister to stop and please everyone calm down and back away. No need to call police. He backed off me and we just stood there looking at each other for about 5 mins. in the bathroom while he breathed hard and just searched my eyes for some type of glimmer of love for him. I stared him down coldly and unflinching.

I told him 'I AM leaving you and you won't be able to stop me or fix this and you need to let me do this. If you need to please leave so I can do this." He said " I can't stand this and not seeing you and not have any access to you anymore" I told it's been hard for me too. We came out of the bathroom and he got in his car and speed off making the tires squeal and smoke.

I packed up the house and moved over a 2 day period of time.

He didn't come back to house that day. Next day I went by around lunch time to gather more stuff and he was there. My sister was following me and she had not arrived yet. He was angry with me again and asked where my bodyguards were. I said they weren't far behind. He said something like 'so this is it huh? and I said 'guess so' and he replied ' well I know where you live and how to find you , you won't get rid of me that easy' I told him that It was really not fun anymore and he had no chance of being with me again. He raged at me that I was a stubborn and cold hearted bitch and no man would want to stay with me anyway. I told him I appreciated his maturity in this situation and he pounded his fist on the wall. There were a series of rants that don't need to be brought back up and I eventually just took what i could find and said 'f it' and left some things I can get at a later time.

I left the house pretty bare. He had no towels, those were all mine, he had no dishes, mine too.

Of course, I left the couch and I wanted to leave the bed , but I needed it. He had to get another bed to sleep on.

He stood at the door while I drove off and I looked back at him knowing I am doing the right thing.

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I am in my new place and looking forward to decorating and making it my sanctuary - it is really nice! :)

thanks everyone
it has helped to share here

so grateful I had the strength and support to do it!