Upset

I have heard this shit for years. When someone is dying of cancer, people say they can't go to the hospital because it would be too disturbing for THEM. Man fears death and he fears living. We are a strange lot. I was heavily involved as a grief recovery counselor for a few years and we delt with many who had lost children. This loss is by far the worst of any loss and many marriages end in divorce over the loss of a child. They need to dig deep and support each other, what happens sometimes, is that one blames the other or one shuts down and won't let the other in. Many people in their personal support network are so close to the situation that they just can't or don't know how to deal with it, so after the initial, I'll do anything for you and help you with everything, there aren't too many of them left to help pick up the pieces. The parents often don't even want to talk about it anymore because people's reactions are not helpful to them. People say things like: you're young you can have more children or it was God's plan, not what you want to hear when you are dying inside. People often say that they got support from the most unlikely people, someone who was not even close to them and it is very helpful when she is ready to go to grief recovery counseling or a support group for parents who have lost their children, like with anything, the one's who can relate the best are the ones who have been through it. For now, I would just help her with the basics, make sure she eats something and takes care of business. You say she does not have much money, that is not what she needs to be dealing with right now on top of everything else. So financial help would be a huge blessing. Paying a bill directly is often good because depending on the person, sometimes they can't even do that and things get shut off. Some get lost in busy work so I don't know her personality and how this will play out, most of the time they crash later on down the road because right now she is most likely still in the shock stage. A great book on this subject: http://www.grief-recovery.com/ The grief recovery handbook, for anyone going through this or helping someone go through this. God bless, Goldie

This is a sad day and a sad, sad tragedy. You are a wonderful friend! You are a compassionate soul who makes this world a better place. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your young friend on this day and always. Love and hugs from (not) spinning