Feeling Low...:(

I don't know what is going on with me...I thought I'd be feeling better. I'm so depressed, always on the verge of tears. I have been working out, but I get to work and just want to cry. I'm back in my old house (moved out of the house we shared) on Easter....now I'm just surrounded by thoughts and memories of what we were doing a year ago...how happy I was (albeit a little apprehensive because things were "off"). I have sort of redecorated so it's somewhat different.
I've been NC for a little over three weeks, haven't heard from in in almost two.
He "ended" things on text after I confronted him about another OW from Feb...he already had someone else before I left. Funny because when I brought it up earlier in the day before I found out about the other girl he denied it.

I can't get over things...can't cope with meaning nothing, that it was all a lie, that I was blamed for hurting him, knowing that I never got to say goodbye to his kids, never got real closure, never will...I hate that I did everything for him and his kids and I meant so little and it was so easy to ruin our relationship and blame me and he didn't hold himself accountable or see how his actions, lies, etc set the course for our problems, how I reacted...he used to say I couldn't let his moods dictate mine...I'm now feeling that I am an empath and it was inevitable.
I know it's "sick" but I just want to hear something...just so I can ignore him.
My last x who had N tendencies always hoovered, I still do talk to him (he's my neighbor again), but I limit my contact...I'm able to laugh at him now, but even though he has a gf he will at times send me inappropriate emails.
the bf before the last, I think had N tendencies...hard to say...we were together a short period of time and he was a huge manipulator...but to me he seemed more borderline personality and less N....and honestly just a psycho.
He never hoovered...

I don't know what to expect...I feel like the recent exN may or may not get sick of the new OW...and realize she isn't going to do what I did for him or his kids...then again I just don't know anymore...
my stuff is still in our house...nothing I can't replace, but I know the stuff that isn't of value hasn't been thrown out...wondering if he's hanging on to it so he still has a reason to contact me.

Sick thing too...is he had an OW and even two weeks after I had left (I was still moving stuff out) he still hadn't changed the sheet...same sex stained sheets from when we were together...that is just fucked to me.