WHY is my N so ADDICTED to PORN??

I've mentioned this before in an earlier post but I think it's to do with the fact they can't feel emotions. Instead, sex makes them feel alive because they are able to experience physical sensation and so they become fixated on that. But these men are also thrill seekers so they have to keep going more and more extreme with sex. Even before I had sex with my N he was sending texts suggesting ways of 'heightening' the experience for me- this should have been a very big red flag. It wasn't me that needing things heightening...

We couldn't have sex unless there was porn playing on the TV. I got sick and tired of having sex with him with porn playing. He started to want crazy thing in bed and the narc also like to have a dildo up his ass. I think he enjoyed that more that fuc**ing me. I asked him several time if he was gay. i still think that he wanted sex with a man but now I really don't care. He can knock himself out!

My ex-N, CharlieSheenWinning, definitely had a thing for porn. Wanted me to have sex while watching it. I kept an open mind but was unimpressed. I think he was disappointed in me. Whatever. I dated another guy who was even more caught up in it -- I think he was more a sociopath than a narc. Yes, I have stellar luck w/men! Anyway, the sociopath one took various incriminating pics of me. (I'll never be able to run for political office!) It was kind of fun and I didn't object, but thinking back now I realize how humiliating it is in reality. I asked the guy, "These aren't going to end up online are they?" As a joke, of course. I mistakingly still thought he was "normal" and trusted him. He replied, "They're for my own use only!" I'm thinking, Dude, you got the real thing RIGHT HERE!!!! Why did I not speak up??? I'm not with him anymore. I dared to call him "boyfriend" and he dumped my ass saying he was never my boyfriend. I had somehow gotten the wrong idea. Yes, unpaid prostitute/porn star, that's me. Pervy Porn Dude: 1 My Self-Esteem: 0

AND they're SO IN LOVE WITH THEMSELVES...what better way then to express it and SO VERY OFTEN...

Mine was addicted to porn and wanted to introduce all sorts of things, threesomes, swinging, anything. He would usually take forever to climax and usually through masturbation after sex, except when he took his viagra....we had lots of sex and if he was getting it anywhere else god help him. I had no clue about his addiction, thought he was bringing this stuff up cause he was drunk, then after another few months I realized he was serious. One time he said to me that he had a dream about me....and the dream was that I was giving a BJ to a guy we met in Mexico (who was gross)....thought that was very bizarre. He also tried to hook up with swinger couple and left me alone at hotel bar in Mexico, figuring I wouldn't know, etc. He was drunk and took a Viagra pill out so when I got back to the hotel room I saw it. He said it was for me.....don't think so...then he made up a lie and said that the TV wasn't working and he called maintenance (at 1:30am). so there was a knock on the door and he sent them away.....I think it was the other couple but will never know. I was very drunk. This freakish sexual behavior, ugh, all about control, they are sick sick sick. oh and once we had to watch porn with men having sex....always wondered what that meant. He liked to have dildo put up his ass too and be f'd, other men I know said they would never even consider that, hmmmm he seemed to love women but if its about control who knows he could want a man too..or has...ick

another porn addict N I think it's because he liked masturbating (making love to himself) more than real (making a connection with another human being) sex porn just fuels the self love mine was a chronic masturbator

Women are nothing but sex objects to them. I didn't have a very long relationship with my exN. But, he talked about sex a lot. In a strange way. Like...all these things he wanted to do 'to' me. Not 'with' me, but 'to' me. When we had sex ...he came rather quickly. lol And kept telling me, it was because he hadn't been with anyone in a while. That he'll have more stamina the more we have sex. The point is, he was obsessed about sex. He was obsessed with me dressing up like a stripper. He was obsessed with strippers...dated many of them. He used to post lots of soft porn on the website we belong to. On and on it goes. The reason is. It shows exactly what they think of women. They view them as sex slaves. Sex objects. Addictions are like anything else, an escape from reality. I have read that they have tested men's brains while viewing porn, and it's been likened to a person on crack! That addicting. So, please don't take it personal. It's not because he didn't find you attractive, etc. It's really more about their disorder. They like cold sex. No feelings. I remember mine said...''dee, that didn't feel like fucking at all...It felt like we made love.'' (after our first night together) lol I remember laughing when he said that. He looked so stunned...as if he had never made love to anyone? He was married 4x, so that couldn't be. But...who knows! I'm done trying to figure out the whole thing. Be well...stay strong, and know it wasn't about you at all, his addiction to porn. This is just my best guess. I could be way off base. {{hugs}}

Welcome to Fantasy Isalnd! It gives them ideas of control and they are deeply insecure. Hunter

1. They hate women 2. They have zero respect for women. 3. They would like to beat women into submission. 4. They are all about the fantasy- their whole life is based upon fantasy and the stories and scripts in their head- Porn is just one more sick fantasy

My xN was also addicted to porn, especially if included sadomasicism. Sick. Sick. Sick. Check out Lisa's blog post on this topic from June '09: http://www.lisaescott.com/2009/06/02/why-narcissists-are-addicted-pornography