Projection

Here are the top 10: "You are so manipulative" "You are such a liar" "You are a piece of shit" "You are such a drama queen" "You are a miserable person" "You cannot be trusted" "You are always sick with one of your many ailments" "You are inconsistent and undependable" "If we got married, you would just walk out and ask for a divorce when things aren't going your way" And my absolute favorite: "It's always gotta be ALL ABOUT YOU" And I stayed for 10 years of this crap - YEP! That's why I'm getting back into therapy!!!

I have ever heard from N was, "You're insecure!!!" I couldn't believe it! After all the cheating, lying, seeing people only for how they look or how much money they had, I was the insecure one. Amazing projection - just amazing. And indeed I WAS insecure after having just had a baby 15 months prior to reconnecting with him, having the baby weight still on, and having had my hair burned off. No, when I confronted him about all the OW and how many OW he constantly told me about and showed me pictures of, I was suddenly "insecure". When I complained that I didn't really feel good about how I looked after giving birth so soon before that point, I was insecure to him. DAMN RIGHT ASSHOLE - what woman would NOT be insecure around you?!! He made me feel more insecure than I have ever felt in my life. They know your weak spots and just EXPLOIT EXPLOIT EXPLOIT.

"Wow, StillHurting, you sure dropped me like a hot potato." He is the one who backed everything off when he found new supply! I said right back to him, "What are you talking about? You are the one who never wanted to get together anymore, and you were supposed to love me more than anybody in the world, besides your kids. What happened to that?" Of course, as he usually does, he had me on speaker phone and wasn't even paying attention. So I hung up. So that was projection to the Nth degree!

"You're so insecure and needy." Thus, speaks the narc who has to have committee gathered around him to tell him where to eat lunch. "You're so undependable." Xnh is completely unreliable. He's ALWAYS late. I swear he's going to be late to his own funeral. "You're such liar". Xnh lies all the time. It's standard operating procedure for him. I don't lie as a general rule. To start with, I don't like dishonesty, and second off, I really don't think I'm smart enough to remember all the lies. It's just easier for me to tell the truth and take the flak. At least I KNOW what I said, and don't have to remember any "fictitious" versions of the truth and who I told it to. lol. "You would f*ck half our co-workers, if you got the chance." No. I can honestly say that I've never cheated on anyone. That would be xnh that was a serial cheater. "YOU are the abusive person in this household." Said by xnh as he's pinning into a corner, grabbing my face, and leaving marks on me. "You don't have a maternal instinct in you." Spoken by a person that has a dick hanging between his legs, and was angry because he wanted play in his band when it was his weekend to be with his kids. I wouldn't be his personal slave babysitting HIS children the entire time, while xnh ignored them to play with his buddies. Their MOTHER was busy hanging out at the casino and didn't want her own kids around either, but *I* don't have any maternal instincts. IMO, neither parent would know a maternal instinct even if it came up and bit them in the butt. In this case, "I don't have a maternal instinct in me" equates to "I want my way". I could list about a million of these examples. If projection were an art form, xnh would be an artist. rofl.

You're fragile You have an addiction problem You're sleeping with other people You're still sleeping with your ex boyfriend You're so confusing you never make any sense, one day you're into me and the next you're not. If you want me tell me. You're the most dramatic person I know. The list goes on. What he was REALLY saying was: You're fragile. (You're not fragile at all and that is the problem. I want you to believe that you are though, so I can control you all I want.) You have an addiction problem (I have an addiction problem. And I would LOVE nothing more than to blame it on you. ) You're sleeping with other people (I am sleeping with other people, no matter what they look like or how many deseases they may have.) You're still sleeping with your ex boyfriend. (I'm sleeping with my ex-girlfriend. Or at least trying to extract as much NS as I can from the bitch) You're so confusing you never make any sense, one day you're into me and the next you're not, you're so confusing. If you want me tell me. (I'm confusing you on purpose. One day I'm into you and the next day I'm not to leave you unsure of where we stand with me in control. Tell me how much you want me, I need my ego fed NOW!) You're the most dramatic person I know. (I am the most dramatic person I know and love to cause drama around me every where I go hopefully with me being the center of it!)

You are so negative and unhappy - you always see the glass as half empty. You're grumpy. You get mad so easily. You like to play games. Material things are important to you. You're such a flirt. You're over-reacting. You're like Chicken Little - the sky is always falling. You're impossible.

Mine called me a liar all the time and accused med for playing games and cheating on him. After nine months, I found out he was the one that had at least two girl friends at the same time.

It all started going down hill when he found out i was a whore. well, Im not a whore... long story short.. i did lie to him, about a couple relationships i had YEARS before i ever met him... i felt it was NONE of his business and it would only create problems if he knew about them (he wanted names, Dates and EXACTLY what we did sexually. he became a PI going through all my stuff.. Computer/Phone looking for more stuff to dig up. PROJECTION- He must have called me every name in the book.. everything from a pathological lier to a cum dumpster. Know we all know who the REAL lier was... and Cheater and FUCKING PSYCO! He really had me believing that i had a serious problem lying to him.. he manipulated everything i did and said that little parasite! P.S. I was 7 yrs his senior.. he was only 25. I had more of dating experience then him and he couldn't handle it.

The projection of the psychodwarf: "You are constantly monitoring me" (this after snooping through my cupboards and checking my computer) "You are manipulative and controlling" (enough said) "You are all alone in the world"

I received the "all you care about is money" projection over and over again. Yet, I was the one paying for the majority of the bills, while he hoarded. Who is paying the child support and alimony now A hole?? Hmm?