I need some help please

A True Narc at his best! It's all a game/ Head Fuck! You know the answers! Problem is the heart and the head are still not lined up! Leave the phone in the car and change your phone number! Hunter

I understand your anxious feeling. It's better after awhile when there's no contact and we've experienced complete silence. It's when they start getting our heads again and contact us on a continous basis that we start having that addictive need again. It's like a drug. You were so used to hearing from him daily and then to have it stop is hard. Just remember how much happier you really truly are with him and you do not need him in your life. You only need to to take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. He's a sick man that will never get better. He's not going to change. It's you that has to change in the fact that it's an addiction of sorts that you need to conquer and get over. Best of luck today with him not bugging you! Hugs to you! Happy

what happened to me when i broke the NC three weeks back, I started wondering, mmmm why hasnt he called? Then I stopped and realized, OMG I am getting sucked and pulled back into this mans games again, first he calls, then he ignores me when I respond, then when i dont respond he calls, I mean come on, this is a 55 year old ADULT and this is how he treats people, ITS ALL GAMES to them not only is that SICK its a waste of my time and my life, my life is not a GAME. Just imagine if you slept with him how he would mess with your head, I got some of the WORST game playing after we had an encounter, he KNEW I was most vulnerable at that time after we had just been together, he also LOVED to taunt me and keep me begging to see him, after awhile I just didnt care anymore and when he started to sense that he would say things to make me want him more, and afterawhile I didnt even fall for that anymore, It got to the point I would say, gee I didnt hear from you this week telling me how horny you were for me, what no crumbs this week? GAMES GAMES GAMES, SICK GAMES that had me to the point of insanity. Now I just DONT CARE anymore I am not wasting my life and my time on a man that CANT have a healthy relationship with anyone and not to mention the fact he is a psychopath, let him play his games with his GF I got off the crazy mobile I just want to move on and hope he becomes a distant memory VERY VERY SOON. He is ABNORMAL Sara, stand back and see what he is doing, begging for sex? No he is begging for CONTROL again in your life, its not about the sex with these men, oh sure they will give us some good hot sex but its NOT to get off its so they can try and manipulate and control us again, they want us to BEG for them, adore them, stroke their ego, want them, cry for them, be jealous of their other women, Fuck that I'd rather go to the Zoo at least the predators are behind bars.

Getting my Handy Dandy wet noodle out...you know what that's for...the 40 Lashes!!! Well, for starters, remember our song: "Shut up" That's for starters... But on a serious note...I've broken NC before, in fact I don't consider myself NC so to speak, sometimes there is interference but it does not affect me anymore. If I need something then I bite, otherwise, I could give two turds on a rats behind. But my situation is different as I am officially indifferent and it is not a "relationship" per se but if I need something that door is open and it's understood "Homie ain't getting NO PLAY!" AND I don't even have real feelings for "HOMIE" as far as "Homie" is concerned, I am a NARC towards him too! That's how I deal with him, but I don't think many can shut themselves off that way, and I have certain circumstances that lead me to want to have a "handyman" around and I won't get into it but for the majority of people here as in 99.999%...DON'T DO IT...DON'T!!! IN my case, it is also clear that although I've been hurt on some level, the narc won't go but so far with me - he's a little scared of me...BUT I don't engage in games, and my boundaries are clear but I do remember a time when he COULD hurt me very much so and that was BAD and DANGEROUS for me...Now that I've confessed here...and I do stick to NC but there are exceptions to clarify WE ARE NOT FRIENDS...it is a needs based relationship so to speak...and one in which only my needs are met. He owes me some favors, and FAVORS I do need to cash in on. AND LET ME CLARIFY...NOT SEXUAL FAVORS, very practical favors... NOW earlier in the "recovery" I was obsessed, looking for any clue or indication of "contact" I was a mess. I don't think you're quite a "mess" but it bothers you. What I can say now, in hindsight having been there...what happens is we go NC and we get strong, then sometimes there is "breakthrough" contact - a term I'm making up here...you were NC then circumstances caused contact to start up again...and for a while a "pattern" of "light banter" where he doles out his lines of crap ensue. You really know they're crap, you might not act on it, but you kinda like the attention - only thing is he's full of crap and only using us for supply - as when they go home to the fat princess...in my case she's a fat monster...really really scary looking the weight isn't the issue, but she looks scary anyway I digress, they don't bother contacting. See, he was still messing with you and he figured he'd get you a little high get you "hooked" so he could get control back then RIP the carpet from under you and leave you panting. Now, I would not say you are literally panting, but you are a little bothered cause you got caught up in a bad habit again. AND with that, comes of course the withdrawl. NOW, I think on some level, you might have a little jolt but I think if you give it a few days, and you stick to the board and keep busy, you will find that just as much as it got you a little *don't know the word here* not excited but got you a bit looking forward to it, added to some amusement, whatever...give it a few days and it won't be that intense. At least that was my experience...now I don't care at all. Hope that helps some...don't be too hard on yourself but get back on the wagon and remember the reasons why you are NC and what he is and the fact that he's with a FAT Princess, when if he were normal and was capable of love, attachment and not disordered, WE would not have had this conversation. Or even met here... OR went through any of the pain, agony and anguish we've gone through. Hugs!

I can't even imagine what it is like to have to work with him! He texts you ( and good for you for not responding btw!) but then suddenly, he stops...and you wonder why, as would any one us in that situation. It's pretty hard to have NC and move on when he is in your face like that. Texting you, hasn't gotten him a response....so now he's trying silence.....to see if THAT will work. It's obvious from an outsider's perspective, what he is trying. You can block him from texting you, no? Do that. Otherwise, I really don't know what the solution is ( other than finding another job, which I know isn't easy, nor is it fair).....it sucks so bad that you have to work with him! I wish I owned a business and could offer you a job somewhere else, so you wouldn't have to deal with him!!