Parental Alienation

Its awful to have to share your child with this person. Here we are suppose to protect them from harm but yet we have to hand them over to the one that is going to hurt them the most with their empty promises. Those of you who read my entry from last nite know that the N cried with my daughter about how much he missed her (lives 30 minutes up the road)and how she just needed to pray to Jesus when she was sad and to remember how much her daddy loved her. Bastard, if he really loved her, why doesn't he get his sorry ass in the car and come see her? He told her, tell your mommy to answer the phone tomorrow morning at 7:15 so I can call you before school. He never called. I texted him later in the morning and asked him why he didn't call her and he said he didn't have service where he was at. I'm sure he's lying like always. He was able to text me back! Last nite, I commented to him how skinny he looked in court and he said, yea, I probably have cancer. I wanted to laugh (I read somewhere that N fake illness so they can get pity).

This is definitely a tactic that is being used a lot these days. My ex tried this at the very end. They have to get a licensed counselor to interview the children and say for sure that the children are suffering from alienation. It would be a very wise move on your part to get them to a child psychologist (make sure that his insurance will pay for it) This way, you are making a pre-emptive move and also have control over who their therapist is. Just keep documenting all of his crazy a** behavior and emails from the past year, and let him see the kids, but do it somewhere else besides your house. No judge would expect you to let him in your house. I think that if you make a schedule, for example every other weekend from 3:30 p.m. on Friday to 6:00 p.m. on Sunday. (I'm not sure how old your children are, but if you have a nursing baby, they don't have to stay overnight). Research the typical visitation schedule for your state and make an effort to offer him SOME visitation, but you decide how much. Many times, the precedent is set before the divorce or separation by who lives in the house, what schedule you are already on, etc. Judges like routine for kids. In our settlement out of court for the contempt charges, the N demanded that I send our oldest daughter to counseling because he said that I had "alienated" her from him by "sharing information about the other woman with her." When it was pointed out to him by my attorney that he left a condom wrapper on the couch for her to find at his place, and that this was how she found out he was sleeping with our 23-year-old babysitter, he shut up and settled. He knew that he would look like a total ass in court, AGAIN! BTW, do you think that he made one inch of effort in even making an appointment for the 14-year-old to go to counseling??? Of course not, it was just a ploy by him to make it look like he cared. I made the appointment, took my daughter to the counselor, and the counselor immediately figured out the entire situation. My daughter is really benefitting from counseling, and I am sending my son next week. I picked the counselor, and she is excellent. Good luck Mallory, he is just trying to scare you, but you have SO MUCH EVIDENCE against him.

You can't restrain him with an order if he has a legal right to visit. Can you think of something that might keep him away like the children are showing flu symptoms? they have a school trip, or something that will keep him away. Parental alientation isn't easy to prove and if you go to neutral, don't show fear, he will lose interest. They are very jealous of their own children so you might try talking about how talented they are. He would try to sabotage that if he lived with them. When he comes to get them have someone else there, to witness all went smoothly, just try to keep thinking ahead. he wants you anxious -they feed off of that so he is using the alienation thing. Ask him if he has gained weight, is he feeling well, how does he feel about starting to lose his hair? Just a little something to switch the anxiety over to his side. Don't overplay anything. Be very careful what your children hear and overhear children tend to repeat, question, and look for answers and it might be something you don't want him to hear. Little pitchers have big ears and big spouts. If you can center yourself he will become uneasy. If he is uneasy he will put more distance between visits, eventually get into someone elses life, and lose interest in yours-hopefully. You can win remember to you it is real to him it is only a game.

Can you get a restraining order so N's not allowed near you? ~Give a Narc an inch and they become the ruler~ nolongercontrolled

Do NOT let him in your home. Can you have someone else, like one of your family - drop off and pick up the kids at his hotel? YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE TO SEE HIM. (your lawyer's an idiot, btw... IMHO) ~~~~~~~~~~~~ CLICK HERE: Articles & information for Narc Victims - Updated Daily "As soon as you feel that crazy sense of walking on eggshells, fending off N-rage, stop. Walk away." - Dr. M. Beck

please tell the group the crazy demanding accusatory emails you have been getting from this piece of sh*t up to this point. every single abuser MALE I know tries to pull that Parental Alienation crap in court. It doesn't fly very far - especially when they are behaving as out of control as him. YOUR LAWYER ONLY SHOULD BE CONTACTING HIM NOW. ONLY! ~~~~~~~~~~~~ CLICK HERE: Articles & information for Narc Victims - Updated Daily "As soon as you feel that crazy sense of walking on eggshells, fending off N-rage, stop. Walk away." - Dr. M. Beck